Journal Archives (July - September 2007):

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09.30.2007 "Clever Girl"
I don't really consider myself to be a particularly witty or clever individual.  But occasionally I come up with something that makes me laugh.  My latest one:  Sloane has a fantastic, plush airplane toy.  I've decided to call it Jefferson.  Airplane.  As I said, it made ME laugh.

09.29.2007 "Just a Small Rant About the Government"
I could go on and on about this issue I've been having with the Canadian Child Tax Benefit, but I don't want to get my blood boiled again.  So in a nutshell: I filed the CCTB papers when Sloane was first born.  When I got a cheque and a response (about 2 months after the application form was submitted) I realized they made a mistake.  I was listed as 'single'.  Their letter said that if I needed to contact them regarding incorrect information, then I had to contact them in writing (as if) or call the 1-800 number.  So I picked up the phone.

I was shocked to get a busy signal.  What?  A busy signal for a government phone line?  I thought there was something wrong with the phone systems so I waited and tried a couple of days later.  Still busy.  You're joking.  I tried later and got a voice mail system - finally!  It said call volume was high and that I should call back at a later time.  Click.  Oh no, it did NOT just hang up on me!  So I wrote a letter telling them I am not single status and that our household income is double what they have on record (gee, just like my application stated in the first place), glued on my 52-cent stamp and sent it off.

The next month: another cheque and letter arrives.  Same incorrect info.  I didn't even bother with the phone line this time.  I just fired off a duplicate copy of that letter with another 52-cent stamp attached.

The month after that: no cheque, just a letter stating that my status and income had been incorrect and I never should have received those cheques in the first place, and now I owed them money.  Surprise, that's what I suspected and tried to tell them months ago.  So I went to my bank and paid it up right away.  Over and done with.

Wrong.  The next month after that: I received another letter re-stating that I owed money.  I was to ignore the letter if I had made the payment in the last 15 days, but if I had made it before that then I should contact them.  I looked at the calendar and I had made the payment about 27 days ago.  There was a 1-800 number to call for bill collections.  I dialed.  I was speaking to an operator within 2 minutes.  She straightened up the situation, I was indeed all paid up.

But wait a minute: when I was originally trying before to get info on the CCTB, the 1-800 number was totally bogus.  Then when I owed money, I was given a special direct line that connected me within minutes.  I know this rant is probably nothing new, but it's still really frustrating when you encounter this type of situation.  Whew, I feel better already getting that off my chest.

09.28.2007 "It's Getting Better All the Time...."
This year the birthday was all about the family.  In the morning I was greeted in bed by Robin bearing gifts (a pink sleeve for my Wii remote, a new digital camera!) and a sleepy yet laughing baby.  Later that afternoon I took Sloane to my cousin's and we had a play date with her 2 children.  Then the aunties came over with fresh bread and cheese from Urban Fare and Church's Fried chicken and corn.  It was sunny after lunch so we left the dirty dishes and went for a stroll around Granville Island (love that place). Then Robin came down after work and the 3 of us went to dinner at Bridges (Sloane mostly slept on her daddy's chest while he ate fish and chips).  We were home by 8:30pm, just in time to wind down with a crazy, happy baby in our bed.  When Sloane passed out, I hugged her extra hard before I transferred her to her crib.  Love that.

I decided not to have a really big birthday celebration this year (no DJs in the living room or croquet matches in the park across the street or pin the tail on the porn centerfold or pass the risqué present).  No, just quiet time with the family and a pleasant outing.  And then one of my mommy-group friends told me: just wait until next year on your birthday, when you'll be awoken by little hands wanting to give Mommy a hug.  Oh, I can not wait for that.  It just keeps getting better all the time.

09.25.2007 "Thoughtful, Perfect Gifts"
I was taken out for an early birthday celebration yesterday.  I headed to Vancouver to meet Ivan for a Monday lunch date.  Since the occasion was for me, I got to choose the venue.  Considering who my lunch date was, I chose Yogi's on the Drive - an all-veggie Indian experience.

When we sat down, Ivan placed some items on the table.  Two wrapped gifts and an envelope that had a hand-drawn image of a "That Girl"-looking woman pushing a baby stroller (complete with a wee-hand waving out of the carriage).  But since we were hungry, we went ahead and ordered.   The place was quiet, the food was delicious, the service was attentive - all good things that I look for in a dining adventure.  And as I finished up my mango lassi Ivan suggested that I open my gifts (Oh, those are for me! - I joked).

The card had a flying cat princess image on it.  Oh, how perfect.  Ivan and I have swapped kitty stories many times in the past.  The first gift turned out to be a necklace and it's my new favourite thing.  Ivan and I had been at Mintage months ago and I noticed a very cool, silver necklace behind the counter.  I didn't even know what it was until Ivan pointed out that it was a jack - you know, from that game when you were a kid.  The second gift was the first Feist CD.  Ivan and I have had this conversation several times, how I have her new album and her remix one but I don't have her debut (and now I do).  With the wrapping paper shards on the table, I held one gift in each hand, smiling, looking at one then the other.

Wow, he totally remembered and paid attention to comments I've made in the past. Such thoughtful, perfect gifts.  I was beaming and I thanked him profusely.  I was so touched.

09.23.2007 "Save The Best For Last"
We had the family over to celebrate my brother's and my birthdays.  My mother volunteered to pick up the food on the condition that Robin would barbecue it.  Our Sunday, lunch-time meal ended up being steak and lobster tails.  Oh wow.  I haven't had a whole serving of lobster like that in years.  As Sloane napped (she let me enjoy my lunch in peace - what an angel), we sat outside on the deck and devoured our feast.  While we dipped our forkfuls into the melted butter my mother amused us with stories of when my brother and I were children and she would take us to the Keg for dinner.  Being the little wannabe sophisticates that we were, we had a taste for escargot and lobster.  And we used to go ahead and order it ourselves.  Imagine a 7-year-old girl shyly telling the waiter, "I'll have the escargot to start with, then the lobster tail please."  Outrageous.

Since I was the last to sit down to the table, I ended up being the last person still eating.  All eyes were on me as I carefully savored the final bites of my seafood.  There was still a large chunk left on my plate when Robin asked, "Are you going to eat that?"  Of course.  I always save the best thing on the plate for last.  It's just like if I eat fried chicken.  People might look at my plate and think that I've removed the skin for health reasons.  But the truth is it's the best part, and it'll be the last thing that I eat, what I'll finish my meal off with.  I've always done this, for every meal that I eat, and it's always felt normal to me.  But now that I think and write about it, it seems just a little OCD.

09.22.2007 "A Sweet Gesture At the Dentist's Office"
Normally I like going to the dentist, mainly because the women at the front desk are pretty much family (I've known them since I was 3 years old) and they know everything about me, and I love my hygienist (she makes me laugh and always, always, ALWAYS brings out my x-rays from when I was a child and says, "Awww, so cute!  Look how small your teeth were!").  The magazines in the waiting room aren't the greatest but the wait is never long (an efficient, timely office - rock on!).

But yesterday I had to go for 2 fillings.  After my dentist (who still calls me "Kiddo" or "Squirt") gently scolded me for having 2 nasty cavities, it was down to business, dental dam and all.  Grinding, drilling, scraping, administering of a local anaesthetic (and not generally in that order).  It really wasn't that bad, but not pleasant either.  In any event, I thought I was pretty relaxed and calm.  But a few minutes into the procedure, I felt the dental assistant place her hand on my hand.  At first I thought she was aiming for the arm rest and misjudged, but as time ticked on she stayed.  Every once in awhile she'd have to get up and do something with the instruments, etc.  But then she'd place her hand back to comfort me whenever she could.

I thought it was really quite sweet.

09.18.2007 "A Proper Burial (or Not-Forever Plaid)"
Today was a bit of a sad day.  One of my favourite pairs of underwear decided to pack it in.  Yes, the elastic gave out.  When I put them on this morning, they felt funny.  I looked in the mirror and sure enough - my ass looked like it was hanging down mid-thigh.  Sigh.  Time to dispose of them, I guess.

I had bought them years ago with a bunch of other Joe Boxer bikini briefs.  They were a red and blue plaid, and I thought they were very comfy and fun.  When Robin and I first started dating, he commented that these were his favourite.  And when I looked at them today, I noticed that the once-vibrant, bold colours were now muted and the material was pilling.  I toyed with the idea of keeping them for 'laundry-day underwear' but with no elastic I realized they would quickly become outerwear as they might slide right off and escape out my pant leg (well, not likely, but you get the idea).

So, I forlornly took them to the kitchen and stepped on the pedal to our wastebasket.  I looked inside the garbage chute and saw coffee grounds and wet paper towels and other bits of nasty business.  I couldn't bear the thought of putting my beloved, faithful underwear in with the rest of the gross refuse.  No, it deserved something better than that.  So, I put it in its own plastic bag, knotted it, and placed it in the outside garbage bin with the rest of the bagged-up garbage.  Again, sigh. I know I have other underwear, but I miss old Plaid already.

09.17.2007 "Quote of the Day Part 14: Crazy"
Today's QOTD was spoken by another mother at swimming class.  We were all helping our babies float on their backs.  While the majority of the babies (i.e. all of them except my little girl) were quietly enjoying some mellow time leaning against their mothers' shoulders and testing out the floating sensation, my wiggly little worm wanted to be left to her own devices, to drift away from me (but I still held her firmly with one hand each under her bum and shoulders), and to kick and flail and howl with excitement.  This drenched both of us in the process (and whoever else was nearby in the pool) and drew some curious and amused looks from the other mothers and babies.  One mother who watched with a smile said to her calm, little boy:

>Look at Sloane.  She's crazy.  She's gone crazy.

I had to laugh.  Yes, my crazy offspring.  She makes me laugh.

09.16.2007 "I've Become One of Those People"
I've seen it many times before, usually at the work place.  People have screen savers of their children (usually babies) on their computers.  I wouldn't say that it annoyed me, per se.  But I've always liked to have some cool anime image or funky artwork as my desktop and I would never think of using a photo of a family member.

But, guess what image is on my desktop at home.  Yes.  I've become one of those people.  And I'm sure when I go back to work I'll be constantly updating my screen saver with recent pictures of little Baloney.  Oh yes, I'm sure I will.

09.15.2007 "Old Chinese Ladies Know How to Pick Produce"
Do you ever buy a box of strawberries or blueberries from the grocery store, and you inspect them in the plastic containers?  There always seems to be a couple of iffy ones - mushy, moldy, etc.  And you can never find that perfect box.  Well, I mentioned this to my mother once and she bragged to me, "Not me.  I can find that perfect box."  And she's right.

There have been a number of times when she's brought over some boxed fruit, even organic strawberries (with no preservatives to keep them fresh) and sure enough - every berry has been healthy and ripe.  And it's produce in general that she seems to have a knack for.  She brought us some apples last week and I've already had 3 of them, and each one was crisp and juicy.  Perfect.

I had mentioned my mother's talent to Robin recently.  His response: "She's an old Chinese lady.  Of course she knows how to pick produce."  We're contemplating paying my mother to shop for and buy our produce for us.  Seriously.  It would be worth it.

09.14.2007 "Scary Medical Books"
What a fun day!  Sloane and I met Uncle Ivan for lunch - Greek Food on the Drive.  We ate moussaka and enjoyed the eclectic yet endearing music selection ("Ask Me" by The Smiths, "Playing With the Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton, "ABC" by Jackson 5).  Oh, why can't every Friday be like this, forever and ever....

But during our meal time conversation, somehow I was reminded of a book that my mother had while we were growing up.  It was a medical book that my mom (being a nurse) would sometimes consult.  It was pretty non-descript.  Burgundy hard-cover, pretty thick and heavy (especially for a young child), glossy pages.  And the thing I remember most is that it had some pretty old-school diseases in there like Tuberculosis, Malaria, Elephantitis, etc (it was from the 1960s) and accompanying pictures.  Very disturbing indeed.  I remember being ill, lying in bed, and my mom would pull out this book to check out my symptoms.  I remember looking up at her, terrified that she'd show the book to me, and point out some crazy, tropical illness.  Egad.  Just thank goodness the photos in it were in black and white.  But they were still creepy to see nonetheless.

Ivan asked whatever happened to that book.  I'm pretty sure my mom turfed it when she sold the house and we had our massive garage sale.    She should have, it would have been about 40 years out of date by now.  Good riddance.

09.11.2007 "Just a Little, Baby Rant"
Oh, being a new parent.  There are so many things that people do and say about your child that just get under your skin.  I could go on and on forever, but for today I'll just narrow it down to my 2 'favourites':

1.) "Oh, did my baby tell you that?"
I often use the baby carrier to hold Sloane.  She faces inwards, towards me, and I can tell you that in general she loves it.  It's comfortable, she's close to me, she loves the bouncing sensation when I walk, etc.  But sometimes she fusses a bit for whatever reason.  That's what babies do sometimes.  And when this happens in a public place, I've encountered people (often old ladies for some reason) who feel the need to come up to us and say (to Sloane), "Hey there little fella (they automatically think she's a boy, but whatever).  You're upset because you can't see!"

They think that because she's held tight facing me but squirming around that I'm depriving her of seeing the world around her.  Hmmm, I didn't realize my baby spoke English yet and could communicate with a perfect stranger what she wanted.  Very interesting indeed.

2.) "Just you wait!"
I've encountered this many times in the past recent months.  I'll run into people who have older children themselves.  We'll be talking about the joys of having a baby or something like that, and they'll inquire about what stage I'm at with Sloane.  I might tell them something like, "She likes to roll around on the floor and she can inch-worm herself slowly around the living room."  So far the conversation is fine, no irritation factor at all.  But then the person will say, "Oh, just you wait!  That's nothing yet!  Soon she'll be crawling around like gang-busters and tearing up your house!  You'll need to baby-proof everything soon enough!"  No shit, Sherlock!  Of course I know she's going to be more mobile soon and I'll have to anchor everything down in the house.  And guess what - I realize that she'll even be walking some day.  Yes, I have a general idea how children grow and develop.

And it irritates me even more when people say it to my mom.   They'll ask how my mom likes being a grandmother and she'll be beaming with happiness as she says how wonderful it is, then she might mention that Sloane has just started to reach for things and it's very interactive, etc.  When they say, "Oh, that's nothing.  Just you wait!  She's going to be doing so much more than that soon!," I feel like punching them.  This is my mother's first grand-child.  She's enjoying the current stage of baby-hood right now - just let her enjoy it without condescending to her.  And yes of course my mother realizes that Sloane will grow and change.  Duh.  News flash, she even studied childhood development in school when she took her pediatric courses in nursing college.  Idiots.  Don't get me started.  Don't even get me started....

09.10.2007 "It's Because of Love or It's Good Luck - Take Your Pick"
We have these two sayings around the house.  Whenever we discover something odd or irritating or even a bit on the gross-out side, our response is, "It's because I love you!" or "It's good luck!"

For example: Robin inquires about a bunch of long Rena hairs on the bathroom floor.  Yuck.  "It's because I love you," is my response.  I scream in horror when I discover bits of food in the sink after someone has just used dental floss.  Eww gross.  "But it's good luck, pumpkin!" is what I hear.

I'm tempted to say that it's getting a bit tired, but I use these sayings too on a daily basis.

09.06.2007 "Swimming Lesson Faux Pas"
I've enrolled Sloane in the Level 1 (a.k.a. Level "Starfish") swimming lessons at the local recreational complex.  Oh, it's so much fun.  She absolutely loves the water.  She kicks and splashes and yells at the water.  At the end of the 30-minute lessons, we're both drenched (and we haven't even learned submersions yet).  And today the babies all tried out the life jackets.  I wish I had a camera this morning, to capture the image of Sloane lost in her life vest, the lapels pushing into her chubby cheeks, while she enjoyed floating on her back and idly kicking her legs while blowing raspberries at the ceiling.  Priceless.

But to get to the point of today's entry: the classes are every Tuesday and Thursday.  At the end of today's class the mothers were saying their good-byes as we exited the pool, "See you next week, etc."  I waved Sloane's hand at them and said, "See you next Tuesday!  We'll see you next Tuesday!"  It took me a few minutes to realize what I had said.  I suddenly felt a bit embarrassed.  I didn't mean it like that.  Hmmm, I'm hoping nobody noticed. 

09.02.2007 "What Lies Ahead"
I think of the future.  These days I often look ahead to the upcoming weeks, months, years, and decades and I wonder what it will be like?  How are swimming classes going to go this September?  What will it be like to go back to work after being away for a year?   Where will I be living in the next few years?  Who will my friends be in twenty years?  We're naive to think that life will turn out exactly as we plan or imagine it.  Because if you've lived enough you know that life is indeed stranger than fiction, and shit can and will happen.  You can look to the future and try to see what lies ahead but you'll obviously never quite know until you get there.

Often when it's late at night and I'm feeding my daughter and the rest of the house is fast asleep and quiet, I wish time would stand still.  But I feel it slipping away from me.  I realize that I need to cherish these moments because nothing is permanent and one day everything will be different.  Sloane won't be my little baby forever.  My sweet girl is changing before my eyes and she won't even be the same person tomorrow.

My mind can't help it, it wanders to the years ahead.  As I stare at her while she sleeps, I drink in her full-round cheeks and pouty lips.  One day that face will be more angular and her mouth will produce words and sentences and communicate thoughts and feelings, not just raspberries and sweet babbling nonsense.  I kiss her small, plump hands and realize that one day she will use them to wave good-bye to me as she heads off to daycare or to school or to an extended European travel adventure.  I rub the baby-bald spot on the back of her head and realize that one day it will be overgrown with a full head of hair, and I'll stare at the back of her head as she toddles off to catch butterflies or runs off to meet her friends at the mall.

Now when I enter a room and call her name, she searches for my voice.  And when she sees me her eyes brighten with recognition and her small mouth fans out into a huge smile as she sees the most important person in her universe.  I can't imagine not talking to her every hour, every day when she's older.  Nor can I imagine saying her name in the house and being greeted by silence as I realize that she doesn't live there anymore.  It sounds silly to be thinking of the future now, when she's still so young, but I can't help it and it almost makes my heart ache when I think of what can and will happen.

But that is life.  Things happen, there is progress, it moves along.  And it is indeed a Doris Day song.  Whatever will be, will be; the future's not ours to see.  But right now I need to feed Sloane before she goes to bed, and hug her small body next to mine, and hold her a little closer.  Because even though inevitably she'll never be my little girl again, she's my little girl today.  And I need to remember and enjoy every minute of it.

09.01.2007 "Back In the Saddle"
I dusted off my bike and went for a ride this weekend, the first time in over a year.  Oh wow.  It felt really good, even if my thigh muscles were burning a little bit at first.  I went for a leisurely ride from Burnaby to Trout Lake in East Vancouver then back again.  And when I got to the park I stopped and took a break on a bench.  I ate a granola bar, drank some water, and people-watched.  It reminded me of my weekly rides that I used to do from my apartment on Cambie Street to Vanier Park, but the kite-flyers were replaced by dog-walkers.  Ah, it's so good to be back in the saddle again....

08.30.2007 "Listen Up, Charity Organizations"
If you knock on my door hoping that I'll contribute to your organized (or unorganized) charity, please don't act offended if I say 'no.'  I'm always polite about it, I don't slam the door in your face.  I listen, I smile, and when I tell you that I already contribute to my chosen charities (and I do), do not act all passive aggressive and look all surprised and try to guilt me into writing you a cheque.  No matter what you do, you will not change my mind.  In fact the more you talk to me after that point, I will get really annoyed.  And if I close the door at that point, please realize that I'm not just being a bitch; instead, review your behaviour and actions and what has just transpired and realize that you've really pissed me off.  Learn from that.

If you stand outside the liquor store or the grocery store, right at the door where I obviously see you and you see me, again - don't act all shitty when I smile and decline to give you money.  I really shouldn't have to explain that I already give money to designated organizations.  There's no need to say "All right, thank you!" in a really loud, sarcastic tone.  Please realize that the more you behave like that, the less likely it will be that I will ever give you money, not even loose change.

If you call my home telephone (or God forbid my cell phone) and my "Hello?" is greeted by a long pause before you start your spiel, please be aware that I will immediately hang up the phone.  I don't like the fact that my home phone number has been programmed into your auto-dialer.  This is very impersonal and invasive and my time is too important to deal with large corporations who view me as just another number before they try to get something from me.  And if you call my cell phone, I will give you an earful about never calling this number again because you're wasting my airtime.

Whew.  I just had to get that off my chest.

08.29.2007 "Crying On Command Seems Easy In Comparison"
I was perusing some IMDB trivia and read that for one movie an actor had to throw-up for real (as opposed to spitting out fake vomit).  Apparently the actor threw up on command on his own for the first take, but for the second take he got some help in the form of cold clam chowder mixed with orange juice.  That's a pretty nasty concoction.  I'm not surprised to hear that it worked.

But then I started thinking: how did the movie set people come up with that recipe?  What other food items or combinations would make most people barf?  I'm not talking rotten meat or dead rats - that's cheating.  I'm talking about actual normal food ingredients.  How about sashimi and heavy cream, mixed like a milkshake?  Or headcheese slices and cold cream of corn?  Or what about salty milk with some mint?  Oh wait, that last one is an actual Persian drink (I think it's called dooj but I can't quite find it on Google so I must have buggered the spelling).  Farshad introduced me to it and I tried it but it's an acquired taste to say the least.

Anyway, food for thought.  No pun intended.

08.27.2007 "Hot Water Is At a Premium Around Here"
Our hot water tank crashed and burned on Saturday evening.  When we called the service company that had been out before, the earliest they could check it out was Monday late afternoon.  So, that's about 1.5 days without hot water.  We didn't get too stressed out about the situation (hey, stuff happens) but it really was quite an inconvenience.  I had to heat water up for Sloane's nightly bath in the sink.  I also had to sterilize her bottles in the microwave and I manually heated up dishwater on the stove to warm it up.  Also, we couldn't run the dishwasher.  And, no hot showers - only cold ones.  Yikes.

But then I remembered that when I backpacked in South America (so many years ago), I went without a hot shower for about 3 months.  Yes, an entire season of cold showers.  I can't believe I did that for so long, because this past weekend with no warm water was pretty painful.  It's so easy to take it for granted until you lose it....

08.26.2007 "Sleeping with Magnets Under Your Pillow Is Normal, Right?"
I sleep with a Chinese magnet under my pillow.  I have for several years, ever since my mother gave it to me.  It's a thick, plastic disc full of magnetic material.  If you have aches and pains, you're supposed to rub it on your body and it's supposed to draw the negative energy and charges out.  And putting it under your pillow at night is supposed to help you sleep better.

Every so often Robin will be moving pillows around in bed or re-adjusting sheets and clunk - my magnet will fall on the hardwood floors.  He'll roll his eyes.  "Rena sleeps with a Chinese magnet under her pillow.  She's crazy," he'll mock me.  To me, it's totally normal to put something under my pillow every night before bed.  It's a habit, part of my night-time routine.  But then I think about it, and I can see how it might appear to be a bit bizarre....

08.25.2007 "Main Style"
I hung out with Ivan and Rob this morning.  We went to Locus for brunch (one of my most favourite brunching establishments).  They went home afterwards to take a mid-afternoon siesta and I headed down Main Street to check out some of the clothing shops.

I love the funky boutiques there, full of edgy designs from local talent.  I visited some old haunts like Welcome Home Eugene Choo!, Life of Riley and Smoking Lily.  But I was pleasantly surprised to see all these 'new' shops that had sprung up.  As I went into one unfamiliar shop after another, it dawned on me that these stores probably weren't so new after all but they just seemed new because I hadn't been shopping on Main in ages.  I perused through rack after rack of stylish apparel and  I noticed that all the women shopping around me were decked out in their Saturday-best.  I suddenly felt a bit sloppy in my green tunic-wrap and casual jeans and runners.

But as I left one store, an outrageously-fashionable lesbian who was sitting on a bench outside the front window smiled at me and said, "I just love what you're wearing."  I paused and looked around me (not for dramatic effect, but to seriously determine if she was indeed talking to me).

"What?" I responded naively.

She pointed with her cigarette, "That wrap.  I love it.  I love the way it hangs.  It's very cool.  And I love the colour."

I smiled, a genuine smile.  "Thanks."  And off I went.  Well, at least one person doesn't think that I've lost my Main Street style.

08.23.2007 "Does Anyone Want To Be My Friend?"
We were watching "Clerks II" the other night and one of the characters (who happened to be in his early 30s) said something to the effect of, "Who wants to make new friends at my age?" Robin and I looked at each other and laughed. This is a topic that we've discussed before.

We are both in our mid-30s and we realize that we don't make friends as easily or as frequently as we used to. Times have changed.  When I look back at my life, I realize there were rarely times when I was actively seeking new friendships. I've always been fortunate to acquire friends naturally. I recall back in elementary school, one girl actually offered me a dollar because she wanted me to be her friend. She was cute, blonde, pleasant - why not? But when I told my mother later what happened, she made me return the money but keep the new pal. No problems there.  I didn't gain a dollar, but I got a little friend.

I think back to my friends when I was in high school. We were a cluster of giggling girls and we would see each other every day at school and then we would call each other that evening to recap the day's events. Oh, the hours I spent chatting on the phone. Such typical teenage girl behaviour. It must have driven my mother nuts.

When I think back to my 20s, when I was single and exploring the world as an independent being, I remember meeting new people through mutual friends and making new friends all the time. We'd go to clubs, restaurants, pubs, movies. I thought nothing about booking a Friday evening with someone new, someone fresh, and we'd have fun, and in many cases I ended up with a good friend eventually. It was effortless. 

But I wasn't to remain single forever. Eventually I got settled with a great man. And I still invested great efforts into my friendships because I don't believe in dropping everyone just because I'm hooked up. But of course things would eventually change. As I grew and got older I focused more efforts at home. I mean, how great is it to have your best friend sharing your home and your bed, always there when you go to sleep and wake up in the morning? But I still communicated with and saw my friends. Just not as frequently.

And now we have Sloane. We've done a great job incorporating our daughter into our lives, but naturally I don't see my friends nearly as often as I used to. And when I see them, even just an hour here or there, we naturally slip into a familiar rapport. It's comforting. But suddenly I'm at a point in my life, in my mid-30s, where I'm actively seeking new friends, people who share the new parenthood role, people whom I can really relate to and share crazy parenting stories. It's bizarre.  Do you know how long it's been since I walked into a group of people and scoped them out, thinking to myself, "Hmmmm, who would I like to hang out with?  Who is a potential friend?"  It's a bit nerve-wracking, almost a bit high-schoolish.  I know it shouldn't matter, but I get pangs of anxiety at the thought of e-mailing someone new to see if they want to hang out and getting the old brush-off.  It's almost like I have the confidence level of a shy, unsure teenager.  Very foreign indeed.

But that said, this story has a happy ending.  I joined a Mommy-Baby group a few months ago and I've met some wonderful women there.  We see each other once a week and we've really gotten to know each other pretty well and we also keep in contact via e-mail and Facebook.  I plan to continue to keep in touch with some of them even when Mommy Group is over and we've gone back to work.  And today at my last Mother Goose session, a woman whom I'd been chatting with for the last month asked for my contact info (which I gladly gave her).  And next weekend we're having another couple over with their baby (who is Sloane's age) for a BBQ.  We had met them at our prenatal class and I've kept in touch with the mother via e-mail and phone calls.  Fun times.  So, the friendship journey continues, and I feel much more confident about it.

And earlier this week I was visiting with a friend at her house.  At one point Sloane and I were sitting on the porch swing, just the two of us.  I had propped her up beside me and we were hanging out.  I looked down at her and she looked up at me, so calm and mellow.  We were both so content.  And I thought to myself, "Wow, I don't just love this kid.  I really like her.  She's a great person and I like spending time with her."  Sounds like I have a great friend in my daughter too....

08.21.2007 "No Spoilers Here (Unless You're Seriously Living Under a Rock)"
I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan.  I've read the first book and seen the first four movies but I'm not in any rush to see the latest installment currently in theatres and I'm certainly not going to run out and buy the other books in the series.  Why am I telling you this?  Well, I was rather impressed by something pertaining to the boy wizard....

Way back in 2005 when the 6th book was released, there was talk about one of the main character's death.  I wasn't too concerned about stumbling upon a spoiler somewhere because I had no plans to read the book.  But since information  on Harry Potter can be found everywhere (internet, TV, entertainment magazines, people talking on the skytrain, etc), I wanted to conduct an experiment.  I wanted to see how long it would take before I found out (by accident, or just through information osmosis) who died in this book.  Well, imagine my surprise when I totally forgot about this self-imposed experiment and only recently found out a couple of weeks ago when Piers was over at the house and we were talking about it (now PLEASE don't click on that spoiler link if you still want the content of the 6th book to be a surprise).  Yes, we're talking 2 years after the fact, that's how long it took me to stumble upon this information, info which is everywhere around me.  Very cool indeed.

08.20.2007 "Bath Time Is Pee Time!"
There's something about bath time when Sloane is reclining back in her special bathtub (which sits in the kitchen sink) - she always pees.  But I'm not complaining because what better place to relieve your bladder but in a place where Mommy or Daddy can just wash the mess away with the flick of the faucet.

But today was a little special.  She managed to pee into her belly button.  Yes, the pee shot up and then fell back exactly into her belly button.  What awesome aim.  And she doesn't even have a penis.

08.17.2007 "I Need a Vacation From Maternity Leave"
Do you ever go on a vacation, one that probably involves some traveling, and you come back home totally exhausted?  And you almost need a vacation to unwind after you've returned from your vacation?  Well, that's how I feel these days.  I'm currently on a 52 week maternity leave.  Being the primary caregiver for little Sloane is quite exhausting, but it's not because of sleepless nights and constant feedings anymore.  No, I keep the two of us quite busy.  Every week there are regularly scheduled classes and gatherings (Mommy Group, Mother Goose Sing-a-long, and next up is Swimming Classes), hanging out with grandparents, and a revolving door of visitors e.g. recent visits include Uncles Brian, Farshad, Aaron and Ivan, and Aunties JJ, Trevor and Jenny From the Block.

I think when I go back to work in February, I'll totally be ready for a vacation from my maternity leave.

08.14.2007 "If Only This Genie Could Grant Me Three Wishes"
Sloane started eating solid foods.  Yay!  How exciting, another milestone.  However, along with this crowning achievement comes a not-so-nice side effect: smelly diapers.  Yuck!  So, we busted out the Diaper Genie (which was a shower gift).  Before we were just using a regular garbage can because little Baloney's waste byproducts were non-offensive up until now.  Going forward, the magical contraption individually wraps each dirty bundle so you end up with a rather crazy-looking sausage link of used diapers.  We love it.  Now, if we could only get Robin Williams to pop out and grant us 3 wishes every time we used it....

08.13.2007 "Well, Which One Is It?"
I overheard this while on a walk near my house....

A mother was with her 2 young children (a boy and a girl, about 7-9 years old).  The little boy was carrying a skateboard and complaining.  The woman sounded impatient and exasperated as she said something like, "I told you to leave it at home!  You shouldn't have brought it with you.  Why don't you listen?"

To that he replied in a whiny tone, "But I didn't hear you!  Plus, I forgot!"

I felt sorry for the mommy, the frustration that she was feeling.  But I had to smile.  It was funny.

08.12.2007 "We're Going To the Chapel...."
It was my brother's wedding this weekend.  I have yet to post the pictures but I want to write about it while the event is still fresh in my memory.  And there's so much I could write about this event (e.g. the lead-up to this momentous occasion, the various emotions my family was no doubt feeling, fashion commentary, etc), but instead I've decided to approach it like a Top 10 List because I remember watching David Letterman with my brother when we were all still living at home, and we'd always have a good laugh in the evening...

Top 10 Things About My Brother's Wedding:

10.) The Justice of the Peace: his name was Mr. Dong.  I cracked a smile when he introduced himself and I shook his hand.  Love it.

9.) The Venue: they picked the Heritage Hall on Main and 15th.  It's full of character and totally old and beautiful.  If I'm ever to be married, I think I'd choose a place like that.

8.) The Food: it was a buffet prepared with love and care by both sides of the family.  Tasty items included sushi, salmon, guacamole, dolmathes, egg rolls, and fresh fruit.  Robin and I also scored half a salmon at the end of the evening.  Yay, dinner for the next evening.

7.) The Cake: yes, this is a separate entry from #8.  It was a light, chocolate mousse number from Anna's Cake House.  It had the inscription "No Chemistry" on it because on their first date Liz remarked that there was no chemistry between them and my brother's reply: I'll put it on the cake.  Also, the bride and groom figures on the top were Playmobil characters.  Little Ella was totally eyeballing them, hoping to snag them.  But I don't think she got them.

6.) Family Reunion: it was the first time in 10 years that all members from my mother's side of the family were together.  Relatives traveled from Dubai, Hawaii, and England to attend the wedding.  I also got to meet my cousin's second child for the first time.  Little Finn weighs in at a hefty 10 lbs and he seemed so tiny in my arms and his motions seemed so animatronic that I felt like I was holding something from Fraggle Rock.  Robin and I also discussed which of my two gorgeous half-breed cousins Sloane would grow up to look like.  If she ends up looking like either of them, she'll be set... :-)

5.) The Non-Wedding Party: the invitations requested our presence for an evening of food, drinks, dancing.... oh yes, and also matrimony.  It was being billed as a party, and the wedding aspect was totally played down.  So the ceremony was short and sweet (no complaints from me).  A week before the big date my brother casually asked me to be his witness.  What did I have to do?  Just show up.  Again, no complaints from me.  Right before the ceremony I found out I needed to stand beside my brother while vows were exchanged.  I was also tasked with holding the ring.  And then I witnessed the marriage and signed my name to it.  So I was the best man, ring-bearer and witness.  My first time in a (non) wedding party ever!

4.) Generations On the Dance Floor: at one point there were three generations of my family (yes, I danced with Sloane) on the dance floor.  What song got us out there?  Why, "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge, of course.

3.) Fashion Choices: there was no dress code.  In fact, we were encouraged to wear whatever we felt comfortable in.  The bride and groom wore a champagne dress and a tuxedo respectively.  The mother-of-the-groom wore pants.  My uncle wore shorts.  A couple of women had Baby Bjorns on the whole evening.  And Sloane wore a pink gingham dress with a crinoline.  Adorable.

2.) The Newest Member of Our Family: I have a sister-in-law.  And she's great.  I really like her.  And my mother likes her too.  What were the chances of my brother finding someone we'd all like and approve of?

1.) Marriage Isn't So Bad: the wedding got me thinking for myself.  Robin and I are in no rush to get hitched, but attending a family wedding made me realize that the 'biggest day of your life' could actually be low stress, casual and really fun.  And making your relationship official (in the eyes of the law) could be pretty exciting, actually.  But we'd probably run away to the Caribbean, just the 2 or 3 of us (depending how old Sloane is) and not tell anyone until we got back....

08.07.2007 "We Love To Play Wii"
Well, the family finally did it.  We bought a Nintendo Wii.  The thought had crossed our minds earlier in the year, and Robin had even tried to purchase one (he did a 5am run to Toys R Us once but saw the huge, 50 person-plus line-up for 20 consoles and turned around and came home).  Then with a new baby in the house, we didn't think we'd really have the time or energy.  But now that Sloane is older and sleeping through the night, there's actually time for non-baby activities.  So, we now own a Wii.

I've played it before and it's fun.  I'm totally not a gamer but I find the whole experience very user-friendly.  And I'm always reminding Robin to tighten up that wrist strap and close the blinds because we have plenty of flying-remote targets in our living room (LCD TV, fish tank, large window) and we don't want a repeat from Piers' place when the remote smacked his window so hard I initially thought the window-mounted air-conditioning unit had fallen to the ground.

Robin and I were playing a game that involved the remote plus the nunchuk attachment.  Some of the activities require you to hold the remote in one hand and shake the nunchuk as quickly as you can.  I looked over at Robin and saw his left hand moving rapidly up and down.  JC, it looked like he was jerking off.  Another reason to close the blinds....

08.05.2007 "My Daughter is Proud"
The family went to the Gay Pride parade this year.  Yes, a tradition that I've upheld for about 10 years (and included Robin in the last 4) now includes little Sloane.  No, we didn't dress her in a rainbow dress or cover her stroller with Pride beads or march in the PFLAG float.  We just quietly watched the parade a few rows back from the sidewalk under the shade of a big, West End tree.

Highlights included spotting JJ in the Hedy Fry float and the Nando's chicken float (with employees wearing PVC, Daffyd-esque outfits a la "Little Britain" and carrying signs that read "Our chicken is so good, you'll swallow" and "Our chicks are really good at going down").  But the best part was having Sloane fall asleep in her baby carrier amidst the screaming (yet friendly) crowd, pounding dance music, water-gun theatrics and boisterous drag queens and stilt-walkers.  My daughter was showing her support in the best possible way - by falling asleep, she was obviously totally comfortable with her surroundings.  And I was very proud of her too.

08.02.2007 "My Daughter Is Channeling Conky"
Even though Sloane is too young to speak, Robin and I often speak on her behalf.  For example I can be quietly reading a book, but then Robin will approach me holding our daughter.  He might even raise one of her small, chubby arms up for emphasis as he exclaims in a mock, baby-voice: "Mommy, I want MILK!  Give me milk, dammit!  Mommy?  Are you listening to me?  MILK!"

And of course I'll join in the fun too.  Robin will be busily playing PS2 golf and I'll come up to him with Sloane and say, "Daddy, I've soiled myself.  I'm so ashamed.  DADDY!  Listen to me!  Wipe my crevasse!"  Yes, it's all juvenile and silly.  But the crazy thing is when we do the "Sloane-voice", we both end up sounding like Bubbles' deranged, ventriloquist-like voice that he does for his verbally abusive puppet Conky on "Trailer Park Boys."  It's actually quite creepy.  Poor Sloane.  As she blows raspberries and stares at her feet and sticks out her tongue, she has no idea that she's channeling a homicidal, demented puppets.  What are we doing?

08.01.2007 "Give Me Nessie Back"
I think I'm mostly a scientific thinker.  I like facts and details.  I wouldn't say I'm as hardcore as Agent Scully or Mr. Spock, but I do admire their logical views on life.  That said, I'm also a sucker for great mysteries and legends, like UFOs and Bigfoot.  There's definitely a part of me that thinks some things defy explanation, and I do like a little 'unknown' in my universe.

Earlier this week I saw a National Geographic documentary on the legend of the Loch Ness Monster.  This is a topic that I'm quite familiar with (I remember doing a Grade 5 report on Nessie) and I've always been open to the possibility of something large and mysterious hiding in that body of water.  However this program was pretty firm on its conclusion that such a situation would be impossible.  Scientists and experts analyzed sediment deposits, plankton density, tide and wind directions to pretty much debunk any theories about prehistoric animals being trapped and living currently in the loch.  At the end there were no 'maybes' or 'it's possible' - nope, just hard facts and a big no.

When I finished watching the show I felt a little down.  And I felt a bit foolish after seeing a parade of evidence against the theory to think that maybe the Loch Ness Monster could still exist.  Something that had intrigued me since childhood was suddenly null and void.  Oh, to have Nessie back again....

07.31.2007 "Mother Goose Is Not Your Babysitter!"
Sloane and I have recently started attending Mother Goose sessions twice a week.  We get together with other mommies (and one daddy) and children (aged 5 months to 2 years) and we sing nursery rhymes and do corresponding movements and some baby sign language.  We'll sing for about 25 minutes, then have a snack, then sing for the remaining hour.  This is all free and I think it's a wonderful program.  However....

I don't really understand some of the mothers' behaviour.  Regularly the Mother Goose facilitator (a pleasant, matronly Austrian woman) has to shush some of the mothers as they talk (loudly) amongst themselves instead of singing along.  But worse still, she often has to get up from her chair mid-song to control some of the toddlers that are bent on destroying some of the community center property or being generally disruptive as before-mentioned mothers are busy chatting away and not paying attention to what junior is doing.  And finally, there's one mother who always leaves her cell phone on and takes calls it seems at the same time each morning.  Wow, people.  Get with the program.  Turn off your cell phone, sit down, sing, and play with your child for one hour.  How difficult is that?

07.30.2007 "You Put the Noggin In the Coconut..."
Uncle Aaron drove out on his motorcycle and came for a visit.  I cooked some homemade macaroni and cheese which we ate out on the sundeck, but the patio umbrella kept us cool and protected our delicate skin from the sun's damaging rays.  I told him to get a sidecar for his ride because those things are way cool.  You never see enough sidecars in the Lower Mainland, if you ask me.  Robin played hooky from work because summer only lasts a couple months a year and he enjoyed several rum and pineapples and did some light yard work.

We talked movies, movies and more movies (because Aaron's going to be a famous director one of these days) and chilled.  Sloane woke up from her nap and joined the afternoon fun.  I jokingly told Aaron that he should take Sloane out for a spin on his motorbike and he joked back that he had a wee, tiny helmet for her - half a coconut shell.  I laughed, real hard, at the image.

I'm really going to miss my maternity leave and lazy, fun, effortless days like these....

07.29.2007 "Our TV Stock Just Went Down"
At one point Robin and I had 4 television sets, two for each person living in the house.  I donated one to Ivan awhile back (he took the 19", the smallest one), so we were down to 3 TVs.

Then my mother's set went earlier this month so we gave her the 24" Sony flat screen.  It was just sitting in Sloane's room, not being used.  I filled the empty space on top of her dresser with her book collection.  And then there were 2 TVs.

But then my mother called last night and that TV had suddenly packed it in (we thought it would have lasted longer since it was only 7 years old, but oh well).  So Robin drove down to her place with our other Sony 24" set that was in our bedroom (we felt really bad about giving her some faulty electronics).  I filled the empty space on top of the dresser with a vase of artificial (but real-looking) calla lilies.  We're now a one-TV household, but it's a pretty decent set, a 37" LCD in the living room.

We don't really miss the TV in our bedroom.  Now our bedroom seems bigger (believe it or not) and more peaceful in general.  We're looking forward to reading more in there as well.  But Robin commented that another LCD set would look really nice in there, mounted above the dresser.  Hmmmm, very tempting.  I wonder how long we'll last until we buy one....

07.27.2007 "Forget the Singles Bars or Internet Dating - I Would Go to Commercial Drive"
I got all dressed and dolled up and went to Havana on Commercial Drive for dinner with Farshad earlier this week.  After our meal we went for a stroll up and down the Drive.  Farshad had some flyers for his Saturday resident club gig at Lotus (it's called Signal and it rocks - you should go!).  We would stop off at the hip, cool establishments and he would drop off some of his colourful, promotional cards. 

As I waited on the sidewalk for him I couldn't help but notice all the positive, male attention that I got when I was by myself - smiling, winking, etc.  It was crazy!  And what made me laugh is that I know if my little bundle of Sloane-joy had been with me, there's no way I'd get even a sideways glance.  But if I ever find myself single again, I know where I'm going to hang out....

07.26.2007 "X-Rated Baby Sign Language"
I bought a book on Baby Sign Language.  I don't plan on being proficient in American Sign Language but I do plan on teaching Sloane some basic (maybe necessary?) signs, like "More" and "Milk" and "Change Diaper" etc.  She's a little young still, but there's no harm in starting early.

Anyway.  I've been teaching myself all the hand gestures and motions.  I couldn't help but notice that the ASL sign for "Drink" (or "Thirsty") resembles the universal sign for blowjob.  So, of course I had to show (and demonstrate) this to Trevor and Ivan when they were over at the house for a recent visit.  Of course that's the joke du jour.  Even when we are talking on the phone or on e-mail and can't see each other doing the hand motions, we just have to say or write, "Hmmm, I'm really THIRSTY.  I could use a DRINK.  Aren't you feeling THIRSTY too?"  And it's laughs all around.  How immature of us.  Poor Sloane.  She doesn't have a chance.

07.24.2007 "No, It Doesn't Mean I'm Old (or The Lovely Sound of Muzak)"
Today after a Mother Goose sing-a-long session with Sloane and a dozen screaming toddlers (I'll probably write later on that topic), I went to Metrotown to get the band replaced on my athletic watch. While I was waiting for the sales associate to finish with another customer, I couldn't help but notice the music that was blasting over the little stereo set that was mounted above us.  It sounded like Ministry of Sound's Hardcore Trance Nation Volume 5 (just guessing).

Seriously.  There is a time and a place for pounding techno beats.  And at the watch repair counter at Sears on a Tuesday morning is not one of those times.  And before you say, "Oh, you're just getting old" I will clarify: I've always felt this way about shopping with loud, obnoxious music in the background.  I don't like it.  I never have.  It's enough to make me turn around and leave the store.  In fact, anything that assaults any of my senses (e.g. really smelly perfumes, flashing lights) does not enhance my consumer experience.  No, it does the opposite.  It makes me NOT want to spend my money.

Anyway.  I waited through it this time because I really needed to get my watch fixed.  Luckily Sloane was not bothered by the pumped-up volume, nor did she sense my agitation.  And it was nice to get out of there and into the muzak-environment of the mall (okay, for that last comment you can call me old....)

07.23.2007 "Storytime Beat-Down"
Tonight I tried to read a book with Sloane for the first time.  I got her all settled in our bed and I laid down beside her.  Then I opened up "Baby's First Library" collection (a gift from Uncle Piers) and selected the "soft" book (lots of fabric for baby to touch and feel).  I attempted to read the simple rhyming couplets and point out the colourful, fuzzy cat pictures to my daughter.  But she was so full of beans and energy, what with all the kicking and arm flailing and happy grunts, that she grabbed the book out of my hand and proceeded to whack me with it.  So much for a relaxing, night-time activity with my child.  She's a freak.

07.20.2007 "I'm a Sucker For Marketing"
Whenever I drive towards Metrotown, I pass this little, hole-in-the-wall Caribbean restaurant.  It's sandwiched in between a laundromat and a used bookstore in a non-descript yet busy part of town.  I can't for the life of me remember the name of this tiny eatery but it always caught my eye because of the exotic nature of the food.  In the back of my mind I kept thinking: we've got to try this place because it's something different.

So, I drove by it the other day and I noticed some large, colourful umbrellas on their sidewalk.  As I passed it I noticed an "Under New Management" banner strung across the front window and a new name painted on the glass:  Kiss Yo Momma.  Exclamation mark.  And I might be wrong but I think it now serves soul food.  How fun is that name?  And I don't think I've ever tried soul food.  We definitely have to make an effort to give this new place a shot.

07.18.2007 "My Daughter The Loch Ness Monster"
Sloane isn't exactly like the Loch Ness Monster.  But there has been some behaviour lately that trips me up.  She has recently started to roll over i.e. I'll put her on her back and then she'll turn to her front, or vice versa.  However, I never actually see her do this.  I'll put her down (maybe even just briefly) and when I return she's changed positions.  I see the evidence, but I don't actually witness her doing it.

Maybe it's time to install webcams on her crib .

07.17.2007 "I Found My Nuts! (And Now I Need To Eat Them)"
I was watching a rather cute, animated movie last night.  In one scene, the hyperactive squirrel character maniacally exclaimed, "I found my nuts!!!" (i.e. his stash of food which happened to be a humongous pile of nuts that he had buried in the ground) while the rest of the forest family looked on.  I suddenly felt a connection to the furry little tree rat because I'm a bit of a hoarder myself.

I'm not a collector but I realize that I like to save things, cherish them.  But at some points it can be a bit much.  For example, when I was a child I would always save my Halloween candies.  Until next year.  That's right.  I'd keep them in a container and only eat a few and I would save the rest.  Don't ask me when I planned on eating them but they always lasted until next Halloween and my mother would throw them out and then I'd head out to get more from trick-or-treating.  It's almost like I enjoyed just having them there.  Periodically I would peek into my overflowing candy container and feel a sense of accomplishment.  I know, what a weirdo.

Some of my favourite toys would remain untouched.  In my childhood mind, a thing of beauty was meant to be enjoyed in its pristine state.  My most cherished belongings would sit on the top shelf where they could be admired.  I vividly remember once getting a beautiful set of coloured, scented pens.  They came in a dainty plastic carrying case and I loved them so much.  And I don't think I ever really used them.  I used to keep them in my bedside table where I could look at them and admire them once in a while.  Years later when I was cleaning out my old bedroom as the family prepared to sell the house, what did I find - those fancy pens.  But the ink had dried up from lack of use a long time ago....

In my 20s when I became a clothes-addict, I would spend so much of my income on my wardrobe.  And this is what I used to do: if I bought say a really nice black turtleneck sweater, I would make sure that I bought another, less-expensive one.  This latter purchase would be for 'everyday' use and the former purchase would be for special occasions.  And guess what: the higher quality, more expensive sweater would never get worn.

Anyway, I think you get the picture.  Why the hell have I done this in the past?  And I still do it today.  I find myself making more wardrobe duplication purchases recently because my logic is that Sloane will ruin my good clothes so I need to have similar clothes that are inexpensive so if my daughter spits up on them I won't care.  Am I really like that neurotic squirrel who hides my prized possessions to the point that I forget about them?  Just because something is beautiful and valuable, why do I need to enjoy it from afar?  Instead of burying my nuts I think I need to make an effort to eat them right away.  I have to get the full enjoyment out of things before it's too late.

07.16.2007 "Quote of the Day Part 13: One-Named Star"
Today's QOTD comes from Uncle Mark.  After perusing my Facebook profile and seeing Sloane's pictures tagged with only her first name, he commented:

>I love that Sloane goes by one name...like Madonna :)

That's hilarious!  My daughter will join the ranks of the Material Girl, Cher, et al.  And Auntie Trevor did predict that Sloane will be famous when she's older....

07.14.2007 "Over the Glasses Beats the Hand (or How To Avoid Seeing the Poo Sample)"
At home we regularly watch the TV show "You Are What You Eat."  We really enjoy it even though the format is very predictable and the results are the same (profile of overweight person, disgusting display of all their greasy take-away meals and high-fat/high-sugar diet, lecture by nutritionist, cleansing diet of fruits and veggies, then 8-weeks later profile to reveal happier and healthier formerly-obese person).

But oftentimes the nutritionist requests the person give a stool sample (or as she says in her British accent, a 'pooooo sample') and the camera shows the brown splatter in all its glory.  And since Robin and I really prefer not to see this, we'll avert our eyes from the screen during that particular scene.  Robin chooses to look at the TV through his fingers but I look up and over my glasses i.e. I see the screen through my blurry, non-corrected vision.  And every time I hear Robin scream in horror as he accidentally catches a peek of the nasty shit.  But me, I just see shapes and blobs.  Yes.  I rock.

07.12.2007 "Play Mist For Me"
Here is another entry which is inspired by Ashley who was inspired by UNphotographable....

This is a picture I did not take of Robin, Sloane and myself lying together all in a row on a blanket laid out on our backyard grass.  It's the hottest day of the year and we are protected from the vicious late afternoon sun rays by the shade of our big maple tree.  Robin is just dressed in shorts and Sloane is just wearing her diaper, and I seem over-dressed in comparison with my shorts and tank top.  Robin holds the garden hose with the nozzle pointed skywards, and every minute or so he mists his family with the cool water.  And when those heavenly droplets hit us and instantly cool us down, we all flinch and shiver and  laugh in unison and Sloane gives a little kick of joy....

07.09.2007 "Low Risk Acting"
I was watching a show on TV the other day and I noticed Rebecca De Mornay was in it.  About 15 minutes into the program I noticed one of the young actors called her 'Grandma.'  Wait, what was that?  Pardon?  She's playing a grandmother to a 15 year-old?  I know and mainly remember her as the sex kitten from "Risky Business."  And now that I look that movie up, I see it was made in 1983.  And I shouldn't really be one to talk.  I first saw that movie at a sleepover party with a bunch of girlfriends.  I was a 12 year-old tween.  And now when I was watching this current HBO program I was probably feeding my daughter at the time.

Where on earth did the time go?

07.08.2007 "Fun Robin (or Has a Line Been Crossed?)"
We were "hanging out" in bed the other night ("special time" - you know what I mean) when I heard the sound of ice cubes  rattling in a glass.  Robin had brought a mixed alcoholic drink into the bedroom.  He was drinking in bed.  When I called him on it, he just laughed (I think it was his seventh drink that evening).  I didn't mind, I thought it was quite amusing.  We were having fun.  Then I remembered that Fun Bobby character in "Friends."  Hmmmm.....

07.05.2007 "Backyard Dinner"
Last night Robin cooked a stir-fry for dinner.  He was quite pleased with himself, pointing out that the majority of the ingredients had come from our backyard garden.  We were eating food that he had grown and harvested himself e.g. broccoli, bak choi, sugar peas.  And tonight we're having homegrown potatoes with our burgers.  Very cool indeed.  And delicious.

07.04.2007 "I Know What I DON'T Want To Be When I Grow Up"
I was watching a movie this morning that happened to have full-frontal nudity in it (both men and women).  However it wasn't one of those edgy, European movies.  No, this one was quite adolescent (but quite amusing nonetheless).  Anyway, in the final credits, one of the job titles was "Stunt Bush."  Full-on laughter.  But I'd have to say that it's a  job title that I wouldn't be too keen to have.

07.02.2007 "Another Acronym For My Business Card"
I can't remember who first said it.  Maybe it was Drew, or Mark?  I think it was Drew.  He called me (in an affectionate way) a MILF.  OMG.  That's hilarious.  Of course I'm familiar with the term but I've never thought to apply it to myself.  Big laughs.