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12.30.2006 "The Inevitable Rena Number Two"
I went to a dinner party recently (well, more of a holiday open house gathering) at Farshad's house.  Home-cooked Persian food is one of my favourites.  I loved it.  But I digress.  While I was there, I met another woman named Rena.  Same spelling and everything.  I've always known my name as having Greek origins, but she informed me that Rena is also a Persian name meaning 'beautiful' and 'elegant.'  That's so awesome.

But my point:  I've never met another Rena before.  It's taken 35 years.  And there you have it.

12.27.2006 "Quote of the Day Part 8: Metrosexuality Defined By the Older Generation"
I've been dying to write about this since last night.  We were at my aunt's house for a Boxing Day dinner with the extended family.  My cousin and aunt were telling us about their exchange student who is currently staying with them (but who was not in attendance that evening).  Apparently he was a bit offended after coming back from a shopping trip on Davie Street.  A salesperson critiqued him as such: she said he looked like a gay, Japanese, ESL student who didn't know his full gay-style potential.  And she was going to help him get fully setup with a new, flashy outfit.

My cousin tried to explain that the salesperson's comment wasn't too surprising given the location of the store (she probably assumed the student had come to 'The Village' to seek out some gay-friendly advice).  The student still wasn't comforted.  So my cousin also brought up the concept of the Metrosexual.  But before he could further explain the trend of straight men here making huge efforts to look stylish (and it having nothing to do with being gay), my aunt piped up that "Yes, the saleslady was calling you a metrosexual - it means that you can be both!" (gay or straight).  Uhm, no.  Actually that just created more confusion.

When my cousin tried to continue his tactful explanation of North American fashion culture, my aunt thought she was being helpful and comforting by piping in:

>Oh, you're not a gay.  You're just a pretty boy!

This story was the highlight of the evening (even more enjoyable than the barbecued duck).  I laughed so hard.  The whole family laughed.  It just validates my position that the older generation should not try to use (or define) the younger generation's lingo.  It's just bad news (but hilarious).

12.23.2006  "A Fridge Too Far"
I love food.  People who know me are aware of this fact, and I know I've written about food numerous times in my journal e.g. provided explicit details about meals that I've really enjoyed, etc.  Last night as I scarfed down a bowl of popcorn, some leftover noodles and an orange at 11pm (yeah, talk about a binge but I'm perfectly entitled given the current circumstances), I started thinking about how my love affair with food started....

I'd have to start with my childhood.  Of course - everything starts here.  My family, as I learned later in life after comparing to other families, was and still is obsessed with food.  My mother back then was quite a bit larger than she is now and she often ate to fill a void in her life.  And since it was easier to cook large amounts for the whole family rather than just for herself, we were included in her multi-course meals.  It probably didn't help me that I was not a fussy eater, either.  I ate everything that was put in front of me - cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, even ox tongue.  Such food items would make most children run from the table in horror or scream and cry at the thought of eating these nasty things.  But I ate them with no complaint, even enjoyed them.  I remember two of my favourite dishes: stir-fried cabbage with dried shrimp, and steamed egg with ground pork.  Yum.

Being of Chinese ancestry, we were also always encouraged to eat.  It was a sign of health.  Grandmothers were always convincing us to finish what was on our plates, and second helpings were always acknowledged with a smile.  As we got older, we all got bigger.  My mother's policy towards sugar and junk food was as such: if these foods were accessible to us kids then we wouldn't feel deprived and therefore wouldn't go crazy when exposed to them.  So our counters always had bags of chips and chocolate bars and the fridge was full of pop.  I guess it worked somewhat, in that I never went 'crazy' for the sugar and salty treats and the food would actually often sit on the counter (much to my friends' surprise and envy) but don't get me wrong - I would still partake whenever I felt like it.  And who could forget about our breakfasts. My mother believed in a large first meal of the day.  Every day before school we were expected to eat what was put in front of us: a soft-boiled egg, piece of toast, Flintstone vitamin, glass of orange or apple juice, and a fried donut.  Yes, that's not a typo.  My mother used to buy large boxes of donuts and they wouldn't get eaten quick enough so they would go stale.  To make sure they didn't go to waste, she would fry them up in the mornings in a little bit of butter until they softened and the sugar caramelized.  Most kids would have looked on in disbelief if they heard us complain every once in awhile: "Ma, I can't finish my fried donut!  I'm full!"

When it came to food, we exercised little restraint.  I remember my mother would buy Purdy's chocolates as gifts and they would be tucked away in the closet.  But there were so many times after dinner that she would leave the table and come back with the recognizable purple boxes and the ribbon would already be removed.  She would be craving a cherry cordial and what the heck - she could pick up another box tomorrow in time for my aunt's birthday.  And since the box was open, the rest of the family would start picking out their favourites to eat.  I also remember watching late night TV with my family and my mother would disappear upstairs.  She'd come back to the den 10 minutes later with 3 steaming packages of instant noodles on a tray.  It was awesome when she'd have these cravings and then include us.

Okay, enough about my childhood.  Flash forward to the present.  You can imagine the effect on me that these eating habits had on me.  Needless to say I've had weight issues in the past but I think I'm finally at a stage where I've found a balance for my nutritional intake and level of activity (it's really a simple formula - to lose weight or at least stay stable, I just need to eat less and make sure I'm eating healthy choices and exercise, exercise, exercise).  But I still obsess about food.  I can eat a meal and thoroughly enjoy it, but then I find myself looking forward to what I'm going to eat next.  When my family gets together, we'll often talk about food while we're eating.  And non-immediate family members who attend our get-togethers have that veiled horrified look on their faces as they see the amount of food we pack away (even I'm a little revolted by the aftermath of greasy shrapnel and stacks of dishes after a family dim sum date).  But that's just the way we are.  We've had this lifelong love affair with food and it will always be a huge part of our lives.

And don't get me started on the holiday season.  No one is safe from the barrage of baked goods, rich foods and finger-foods (I LOVE appetizers as a meal!).  But I have to say that I've been pretty good at exercising some restraint.  Even though I'm supposed to be eating 300 extra calories a day I'm also prone to heartburn these days, so since I'd rather not be ill I've been exercising some restraint this year.  Plus, it's all in the pacing.  As Brent always comments about me: slow and steady wins the race.  That's right.  I can always wait a couple of hours, then I'll be able to eat again.

12.20.2006  "One-Sixth of the Village People At Home"
My husband carries a lunch box to work and wears a hard hat and tool belt.  Sometimes he wears coveralls too and protective goggles.  He's in construction.  That's so incredibly hot.  I love it.

12.17.2006  "Festive Freeway"
I was driving down the freeway the other day (or is it highway?).  Anyway, it was night time and pretty busy out on the roads.  As I looked at the long line of cars in front of me, all I could see was a sea of red lights (their tail lights).  And when I looked over at the oncoming traffic, there were white headlights as far as the eye could see coming towards and passing me.

Wouldn't it be so lovely and festive if all those oncoming cars had green headlights?  Then the crowded freeway (highway) would be a lovely scene of holiday lights.  Yes, wouldn't that be nice.

12.13.2006  "Ho-Ho-Ho Daddy Mot!"
I got some mail from Smith Barney earlier this week.  It sat on the counter for a couple of days because I just assumed it was a monthly statement from these old Motorola stocks that I have from my previous employer.  You can imagine my surprise when I finally opened up the envelope and found a nice, fat cheque for $1,400 inside.  It turns out there was some market trading and that particular stock was de-listed, so cheques were cut for all of us shareholders and mailed out just in time for the holidays.

I don't get a holiday bonus from my current employer (no comment).  But I got a holiday bonus from my previous employer.  Go figure.  Daddy Mot rocks!

12.12.2006  "The Delicate Song Dance of the Foghorns"
I don't know what triggered this thought (memory).  Maybe I was lying in bed recently listening to the rain (love that sound) and I suddenly realized that I don't hear the sounds of foghorns anymore....

Growing up in North Vancouver I remember hearing the distant sounds of foghorns sometimes while I laid in bed. They were haunting and beautiful and soothing on miserable, grey evenings.  And I miss them even today.  Then this memory got me thinking of the various sounds and noises that I've grown accustomed to while I drift off to sleep, and these background symphonies have changed over the years depending on where I've lived.  In addition to the foghorns, I also distinctly remember my mother's kitchen radio broadcasting the news late at night while she cleaned up and clanged around with pots and pans.  And who can forget the spring sounds of birds chirping (robins, starlings, swallows), the summery sounds of lawn sprinklers and lawn-mowers (some neighbours would cut their lawns late in the evening), and the ubiquitous sounds of dogs barking.  Finally, there was always the rhythmic drumming of the rain.

I really missed these signs of suburbia when I moved from my quiet, family house on the cul-de-sac to my noisy, bachelorette apartment on Cambie Street.  What a change!  From then on, I slept with earplugs to drown out the constant traffic commotions right outside my window.  No more gentle, water-gushing mechanisms outside my window.  It was more like door-slamming by my neighbours, or the occasional loud kitchen party at the building next to mine.  I wasn't bothered by it; in fact, I found it a bit comforting to know there were others around me while I resided in my little box space.  But the noises were very urban and it was 24 hours.  The world continued on even while I slept.  And there was one surreal moment that sticks out in my mind.  I had awoken in the middle of the night and my earplugs had fallen out (they did that often).  But I was confused because I couldn't hear a thing, no usual whooshing sounds of passing cars on the streets below.  My instant reaction was concern - maybe something was wrong out there?  So I got out of bed and walked to my front window.  There were only parked cars as far as the eye could see - no movement, no sign of life, no sounds.  I had a brief moment of sleepy panic: maybe the earth was standing still?  Maybe there was something wrong with my ears?  But then in the distance I heard the familiar sound of a four-wheeled vehicle approaching.  I had awoken to silence and had forgotten what it sounded like. It was a strange experience, that's for sure.

When I moved back into my current house in Burnaby, I still used earplugs out of habit.  But I gradually weaned myself off of them as I got used to the sounds of suburbia once more.  I could actually hear the rain again (traffic noises were known to drown these out) and I think I was giddy when I was able to hear late night sprinklers and lawn-mowers once more.  And my favourite night-time sound now is Robin's gentle breathing (as long as it's not snoring!).  And now when I wake up in the middle of the night and all I hear is the sound of silence, I'm not alarmed and it's not weird and foreign.  Ah, back to the organic symphony!  Good-bye earplugs, and hello world of suburbia!  It's nice to be back.

12.11.2006  "Happy Birthday, My Sweetie"
Happy Birthday wishes go out today to my wonderful partner, Robin.  I can't imagine a life without you....

12.08.2006  "Movie Titles"
I have a minor pet peeve about movie titles.  Well, more specifically, I often cringe a bit when I'm watching a movie and then the title suddenly comes up in the dialogue.  I realize that a title is most likely chosen after (or during) someone has written a screenplay (or book upon which the screenplay is based), but to hear it referenced by the actors on screen always sounds a bit contrived to me, like it's been 'planted' for the ignorant audience who needs to be beaten over the head to understand the meaning of such title.

But I chose my words carefully, I said I 'often' cringe.  One movie I saw recently in which the title made a grand, obvious appearance in the film was "The Squid and the Whale."  I didn't mind the reference and mentioning at all.  In fact, from the beginning I was quite curious to find out where the title came from, and I was not disappointed at the end.  Plus, as a general comment, it's a fantastic movie and I fully recommend it....

12.06.2006  "I May Be Ahead of Betty, But There Are Still Some Things To Learn (or 'The Early Farewell')"
The day started with me still in my PJs at 10:00am, eating my breakfast and watching "Ugly Betty."  I was totally content and well-rested (and not missing work at all on the chilly Tuesday morning).  I watched as the main character sat tormented on the couch with her oblivious boyfriend, and she was not able to enjoy the holiday season while she wondered if she had made the right decision in regards to her choice in partners.  Camera zooms out, then fades to commercial.  It dawned on me that I hadn't had such relationship-related anxieties or second-thoughts in years.  I realized, I'm not Betty (No Soy Betty!) - I'm 100% confident and happy in my marital choices.

Flashback to my early 20s when a co-worker (female, my age, also single) recounted a conversation she had had with her older sister.  She asked her wiser, more-experienced sibling that naive question that I now know only has one answer: "How did she know her husband was the right one?  You just know."  I now fill that role of the older sister.  I know what she's talking about now.  Poor, young Betty.  You will learn in time.

Later that night I was at Bo Kong on Main Street enjoying my quarterly visit with Jim (we meet up about once per season).  We ate delicious vegetarian food (deep-fried taro rolls, noodles with enoki mushrooms, beancurd skin in blackbean sauce) and talked about our favourite things (like acting talent, directors, the film fest, the hilariousness of Johnny Drama, and the screen presence of Ari Gold).  Then the conversation switched to my upcoming new role.  I ranted a bit that two things are driving me crazy recently: 1) People telling me that I have NO idea how much my life is about to change (no shit, Sherlock - yes, I won't know until I get there but don't think you're doing me a favour by stating the obvious!) and 2) People telling me I should go out as much as I can now because there won't be much time next year (don't they realize how often I go out, and how much I've gone out for the past decade or so?).  Whatever.

Then at the end of the evening, Jim walked me to my car.  When it came time to say good-bye, he politely yet clearly pointed out that it was just that: good-bye.  To date we've been really good at meeting up about 4 times a year.  But he acknowledged that next year we probably won't see each other at all (and he even joked that he won't see me until the little meatloaf has all grown up and finished school).  He gently let me know that he understood the changes I'm about to go through, and he didn't put any pressure on me to arrange our next dinner date.  The ball was in my court - his words.

My immediate instinct was to reply, "Don't be silly.  Of course we'll see each other."  But then it hit me.  No, Jim is right.  And in fact, so are all those other people trying to tell me how things are going to be (dammit, I hate to admit that they're right!)  On that cold sidewalk off Main Street, I stood across from Jim with his leather shoulder-bag and leftovers in styrofoam containers and I realized this was probably the last time I'll see him in a long time.  No more easy hook-ups for funky cuisine and uninterrupted conversations about everything that we think is hip and current.  No, it really, truly won't be the same.

It turns out this old dog still has a few things to learn.  And saying this early farewell to a friend was a tough lesson to go through.  But I comfort myself with the fact that I'm only saying good-bye for the time-being.

And I recall another snippet from our conversation over dinner.  Jim commented how sometimes we have moments where songs provide a perfect soundtrack to our lives, we can not imagine a more perfect song or album.  And at the time we were discussing Jane Siberry's "When I Was a Boy."  So when I got home I took the CD out of storage (it's been a couple of years since I listened to it) and put it in my car.  While I was driving today I forwarded to "Calling All Angels."  Jim was right.  I could not think of a more perfect song for today, for now.

12.01.2006  "Upcoming Sabbatical - December of Rena"
Today is my last day at work until I'm off on my (fully-compensated) sabbatical.  I will have December all to myself, to do what I please. Needless to say, I'm very excited.

Some people would spend this time traveling, or snow-boarding, or playing video games.  What am I going to do?  I have a list on the fridge of things I want to accomplish and people I want to see.  The crazy thing is my days and evenings are already starting to fill up on the calendar.  Instead of working 9-5, I'll be going out for brunches, lunches, appointments, shopping trips, etc.  Instead of planning projects, I'll be planning how to redecorate and organize the second bedroom.  Instead of seeing my co-workers day in and day out (*don't get me wrong, I will definitely miss some of them*), I'll be seeing my newly-retired mother and many out-of-town visitors and friends during their lunch breaks.  Instead of collapsing back at home during the evenings after a hard day's work and my commute, I'll be getting ready to go out for dinners, to go on the Stanley Park Holiday Train, to see the lights at Van Deusen Gardens, etc.

"Am I ever going to see you?" Robin asked forlornly the other day.  I laugh.  "Of course, sweetie," I assure him.  "I'll be sure to keep some evenings free."  But then my mind wanders back to that growing list on the fridge....

The 'December of Rena' won't be quite as extensive as the 'Summer of Rena' back in 2003.  But I'm still really looking forward to the time off and being able to do what I want (while collecting full salary, I might add).

What would you do with the paid time off?  ;-)

11.29.2006  "I Will Beat You With that Black Belt (If You're Not Careful)"
Earlier this week Robin braved the icy roads all the way from our house to Richmond to take his Judo black belt exam.  After some stressful moments (e.g. memory freeze on some of the routines) and throws and flips, he was awarded with the prestigious symbol of his many years of hard work and class attendance.  Yay for Robin!  I'm so very proud of you, my pumpkin!

But now the not-so-joyous part of the story.  Now, his cheeky response to anything that he doesn't want to do or comply with is, "I don't have to do that, because I have my black belt!"  It doesn't matter if I make a simple request like take out the compost, hang his clothes up, or prepare the salad for dinner.  It's always the same response.

And when I tell him it's getting tired, he threatens to beat me with it (and I of course ignore him).  Plus I wouldn't count on HIM beating ME with it, it'll probably be vice versa at this point.  So I've limited his cheeky response to once per day.  That's all that he's allowed.

Yeesh.

11.27.2006  "Not So Public"
As I rode on the skytrain past the "Public Storage" place, I noticed their neon sign that was clearly visible in the darkness.  Then I wondered, what if the 'L' burnt out on their sign?

<Insert self-amused giggle here>

11.24.2006  "New Downtown Digs"
Today is my first day at work in a shiny, new office tower in the business district.  It's quite the change from the Yaletown neighbourhood that I had grown accustomed to in the past three years (has it really been that long?) and a  welcome change at that.  We had outgrown the space, and the actual interior was pretty old, outdated and nasty.

But since I'm always one to be reflective, I can tell you right off the bat the things I'll miss about working on Hamilton Street:
-Certain eating establishments (Diner, the Falafel place, Global, Chez Faye, Urban Thai Bistro).
-Urban Fare and Choices nearby (love the trendy grocery establishments).
-Brick and beam architecture of the office.
-Watching the amusing characters running along the cobblestones (to their next botox appointment or web design meeting, no doubt).
-Having Brian nearby for lunch.

AND, since I'm also one to always look forward to new changes and surroundings, here are a few things that I'm already looking forward to while working in the Bentall towers:
-Shorter commute.
-A bigger variety of establishments (restaurants, businesses, malls) to explore and get acquainted with.
-A window seat view from the 18th floor.
-New paint, new walls, new desk, new everything.
-Having Brent nearby for lunch.

Too bad I'm only here for one week, but then it's off on sabbatical.....

11.20.2006  "Who's A Happy Dog?  Who Is?  Why, You Are!"
Recently I've really been noticing dogs, really appreciating them.  I've really been intrigued lately by their 'smiles' and soft features and personalities that seem to be communicated to me even if they jog past me on the street and I'm far removed from them, sitting in my car.  And don't even get me started on the puppies and doggies that I see in TV commercials - adorable!

The ones I'm particularly drawn to seem so happy.  As they strain at their leashes with their humans following close behind, I can almost see the cartoon/speech bubbles above these playful canines saying, "I love going for walks!  Whoo-hoo, walk time!  Oooh, look, there's my favourite tree.  I'm going to go smell it now!"  They seem so simple in their needs and pleasures.  I see some of them carrying a stick or even their own leash in their mouths and you can see they're on a mission.  They're off to the park to play, or heading back home.  Either way, you can see the doggy determination and concentration on their furry faces.  So wonderful.

And I really appreciate a dog with a solid body, with a mid-section that just screams to be grabbed and rubbed and roughed up a little.  There's a little, muscular Jack Russell Terrier in a dishwasher commercial (I think he's hovering around to catch the crumbs that didn't get washed off during the wash cycle) and I just want to reach through the television screen and rub his solid belly.  I also love seeing cars that drive by with dogs sitting upright and proud in the passenger seat.  No windows rolled down and tongues wagging and ears flapping in the wind.  No sir, these guys are like little humans staring straight ahead through the windshield.  I wouldn't be surprised if they had their seatbelts on too.

We talked about maybe getting a dog, in a couple of years.  I've never owned a dog, so it would be a brand new experience for me.  And for the first time, I can actually see it coming true.  Some day.

11.16.2006  "Anonymity May Hide You, But You're Still Lame"
I had been out of the office for a couple of days recently.  "You were sorely missed!" my co-worker told me in the kitchen area, "Especially for your dish-washing duties!"  We both laughed but we couldn't help but notice the double-sink full of dirty, food-encrusted dishes, cups and cutlery.  We both sighed, rolled up our sleeves, and got to work.  I know what she meant, that I was missed at work in general.  But she has cleaned our communal kitchen and tidied up after our co-workers many times and she knows that I've done more than my share of dishwashing duties too.  We've both sent email rants to everyone stating "We are not your mother, so clean up!" but the situation remains the same.

And the situation I'm talking about: when there is an environment in which people can remain anonymous, then you'll always have people who will shirk those communal duties and obligations.  I personally think it's totally lame.  But I continue to clean that filthy kitchen and load and unload that dishwasher countless times because I don't want to prepare my food in a germ-filled environment.  I don't want to get sick.

I remember at my previous company we had a cafeteria downstairs.  In the upstairs office area there were many kitchen stations (fridges and sinks).  There were signs posted telling us "Do not leave dirty dishes here!  Take them downstairs to the cafeteria!  It's not their job to come upstairs and collect them!"  But of course, what happened - every day there would be stacks of dirty, used dishes by those sinks.  Some even had half-eaten meals on them even though garbage cans sat 2 feet away.  In the summer the smell would become almost unbearable in certain corridors and I would take detours through the cubicle mazes just to avoid the stench.  Disgusting.

I've never had the pleasure of living in a large, apartment complex but I've heard of some pretty crazy stories.  These include: people leaving half-filled cups of coffee in the elevator, people allowing their dogs to swim in the communal pool, and (the worst of these stories as far as I'm concerned) people kicking pet excrement (yes, dog and cat shit) off of their balconies only to have it splatter down to the units below.  Amazing.

I realize that this anonymity phenomena has more serious implications when it comes to crime, assault, etc.  I'll let you read up on that in psychology text books (as I did in university).  But for today, I just want to say that people who hide behind the fact that they won't be caught are being really lame and it's totally weak.  You suck.

11.14.2006  "Top Priority in Life"
My recent situation reminded me of something from way back.  In my Consumer Education class in Grade 12, our teacher asked us to rank our priorities in life (don't ask me why or what was the whole point of the exercise).  The options were things like "Love", "Success", and "Money" etc.  I remember I chose "Health" (and one other person did too) as the most important in life.

I stand by that choice today.  If one is not healthy then I think the emotional state suffers.  Severe pain and discomfort that persist quickly erode one's coping mechanisms and personal happiness, and the ability to interact 'normally' with others becomes diminished as one becomes so focused on his or her unpleasant situation.

Now that I'm feeling healthier and stronger I feel that cloud of darkness lifting.  I feel human again, and I enjoy and appreciate all the 'little' things I took for granted e.g. the ability to walk.  I really can not imagine what it would be like to have a permanent, chronic illness that slowly takes away your independence and happiness.  It must be living hell.

11.09.2006  "From Tension to Tenderness In 7 Seconds"
As my skytrain car was pulling into Stadium the other day, I noticed something outside the window on the platform.  It looked like a rather scruffy, unkempt, young man was 'getting in the face' of a smaller, smartly-dressed Asian man.  They were standing, face-to-face, and it looked like the street-kid was pointing an accusing finger into the chest of the man standing across from him.  I immediately felt panicked - oh no, not another altercation, not more awkwardness, not more hate.

But from my foggy window seat, I then saw the scene unfold very differently.  The casually- dressed, Caucasian man leaned in and planted a kiss, which was well received.  Then he turned and ran towards my train (the one that I had just left) and I saw the Asian suit still standing in the same place, watching his admirer leave.  Well, that turned out a lot differently (and pleasantly) than I thought it would.  When I got to the stairs, I felt compelled to look over my shoulder one last time.  He was still standing there, the train now long gone, hands still in pockets, and I dare I say he looked a little sad....

I turned and went up the stairs.  I was relieved that it didn't turn out to be a violent confrontation, but now I was curious as to what actually happened there....

11.05.2006  "Home and Dry - Revisiting the Past and Moving Forward (An Evening with the Pet Shop Boys)"
Today's entry is about a concert I saw recently.  I saw the Pet Shop Boys in Seattle.  There's so much to say about the entire experience.  And before you click away because you're not familiar with the band or maybe you don't care for their electronic sounds, I'll say upfront that today's entry is about so much more than the concert itself: it's about friends, fun, revisiting your past while moving forward in life, realizing without a doubt where your heart is, and the amazing magical moments that music can bring to our lives....(And with that, I also 'warn' that there are some band-specific details or inside comments that some non-fans might find tiresome.  But I promised full reports for Piers and Mark.)

The day started at 9am.  Bright and early for me these days.  I was the last one to climb into the rented Pathfinder, but as soon as I saw the familiar faces (especially Farshad's beaming smile behind the wheel) I knew it was going to be a wonderful road trip.  A mature, chill, easy-going crowd who were all tired from partying the night before but rearing to go.  I was in good hands.  Crossing the border is sometimes uneventful, sometimes easy, sometimes tiresome.  As Randy says, "Here's where the trip is 'Being Boring.'"  Long waits combined with the fact that we had 2 people in the car whose passports specify birthplace = Tehran, well - it was a couple of hours before we were legally in the USA.

Lunch was Jack-In-The-Box.  I'm still in awe that my stomach didn't rebel against the greasy assault shortly after the fast food visit.  Then it was shopping: clothes, Urban Outfitters, fetish-wear, vintage stuff, records (I bought a hand-knitted toque to keep my head warm).  There was something for everyone and we actually shopped together as a group of six with no complaints or impatient sighs.  Before we knew it, the day was becoming evening.  We went to a Mexican buffet for dinner and it hit the spot for all of us.  Then it was off to find the Paramount Theatre in downtown Seattle.

By then the rain was steadily falling but our spirits were still alert and upbeat (and surprisingly awake for some of us).  I had been to the Paramount before to see Kraftwerk in 2004.  The space reminds me a bit of the Orpheum in Vancouver (in size and decor).  Farshad and crew made sure we got there early to buy some concert t-shirts.  And we all remarked how much older the crowd was.  I mean, we were anticipating a more mature crowd, but I'd say average age was mid to late 30s and upwards to about 50s.  But then we thought about it this way: it would be like us, 20 years from now, going to see the Pussycat Dolls.  Well, not likely but you get the idea.

Right before start time, we made our way to the floor.  Yes, we all had floor seats, standing room only.  But it was calm, no mosh pits, and mostly older, gay men who were all smiles and shooters.  Sharon and I commented that all concerts (that we're excited about) seem to have a surreal quality about them.  It's like you get swept up in the music, the lights, the celebrity, and you almost can't believe that you're actually there.  Well, that describes this concert perfectly.  When the lights dimmed (then later exploded into white), and the first figures emerged on the stage and the pulsing music started, I couldn't believe I was there.  I was right there, 20 or sometimes 10 feet away from Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe - the electronic music pioneers who've had a successful music career since I was in my early teens.  I could only stare in awe and appreciation at their high-energy performances (well, they are in their 50s by now probably - so most of the theatrics were performed by their young, mainly-male entourage).  But the sound was studio quality and Neil's voice was consistent and oh-so-familiar.

They performed many of their new hits, like "Psychological", "Numb", "I'm With Stupid" and "Minimal."  And what really made the concert for me, they also performed many of their older hits: "Left To My Own Devices", "Opportunities", "West End Girls" and "Heart."  There were diverse costume changes and combinations.  Neil and Chris looked older than I remember, but so dignified in a tux and tails and top hat (Neil) and signature hoodie with dark glasses (Chris).  There was also a constant changing landscape of visuals - they used this backdrop setup which consisted of a series of interlocking, giant boxes and they would alternately have people inside the cubes and projected images on the white surfaces.  I'd have to say highlights for me were: the ultra gay performance of "Where the Streets Have No Name" (complete with back-up dancers in sparkly cowboy get-ups accompanied by a mirrored projection on the backdrops and Neil singing with an image of himself wearing dark lipstick), "Se Vida E" (but it was way too short, part of a medley), "Flamboyant" (again it got the mostly-gay crowd up and moving and had loads of energy), and "Always On My Mind" (complete with 2 giant, head cut-outs of Neil and Chris which the performers sat on top of to perform).

While the constant stream of songs played, each one familiar to me and the rest of the crowd, I sang and danced (as best I could in the crowd).  We knew all the lyrics.  I was alternately brought back to my self-discovery teen years, then to my partying 20s, then to present day self, then back again.  That's how long I've known this band, that's how long they've been a part of my life, their songs providing different bookmarks to the chapters of my days so far.  And here I was, at 35, and able to take a journey through all the emotions and memories of my past 20 years within that 2-hour concert as the songs and their accompanying associations rushed through my veins, my heart racing and face smiling the entire time.

But the definitive moment in the concert for me, the song that brought me back to earth again, was the only 'non-electronic' performance.  I didn't think they would do this number, but halfway through Neil sat on stage with a guitar and performed "Home and Dry", probably my favourite PSB song if I had to choose.  All day I had been living my single life again: going on a road trip, shopping, indulging, living for the moment and focusing on fun.  But hearing the haunting yet optimistic lyrics about being safe and warm with your loved one made me look forward to what lay waiting for me at the end of the journey: after an amazing concert experience (and nostalgic trip down memory lane) I would be traveling back to Vancouver in the pouring rain, through the darkened highway landscapes, back to my home, back to my future (and the exciting, life-altering changes that I am eager to embrace), to climb into my cozy bed with Robin already in it....

After an encore of "It's a Sin" and "Go West", we couldn't believe the concert had already come and gone.  Jim managed to get some autographs while we got the car - he reported that they were perfectly polite and real gentlemen. Then we drove away into the night, along the slick, black highways, on our way home.  I'd have to say it was the best concert I've ever been to.  Ever.  And I look forward to hearing their music (old and new) for many years to come.  As they said at the end of the performance while joking and interacting with the audience, "We're STILL the Pet Shop Boys!" (received by an enthusiastic, thunderous applause by 1,500 fans).  So as long as I have their music around, I'll STILL be me and reminded of who I am and who I was, and I look forward to the person that I'll become in the future....

11.01.2006  "A Lesson from Hippos"
I was watching a documentary last night on African wildlife and one clip really stuck with me.  It showed a group of hippos 'mourning' the death of one of their cows.  She had been killed by a crocodile that sat idly by, perhaps waiting for the appropriate dining hour to devour her huge, fleshy carcass.  When the rest of the hippo herd noticed her motionless on a sandbar, they all approached her and gently groomed her (licking and nuzzling her hide).  Then they got settled around her, forming a protective circle with their humongous bodies, and lay with her body for awhile.  And then as if magically signaled that that ceremony was over, they all stood up and swam away.  And the lurking predator waited for their departure then moved in.  Respect.

Now, I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel awkward around people when I know there's been a passing in their family for example.  There are so many things I'd like to say but I don't want to be corny or appear insensitive.  And in the end I usually mumble my condolences, sign the sympathy card with cliché words (yes, of course "I'm sorry for their loss") and so much is left unsaid or felt.  If only there was an agreed-upon, sensitive, nurturing ceremony that we could all do for each other during times of grieving.

We have a lot to learn from the animal kingdom, yes - and that includes hippos.

10.30.2006  "The World Has Gone Mad!"
What's this?  Rena not eating like she used to, forcing herself to ingest extra calories and in fact losing weight?  She's no longer asking Robin halfway through the meal if he's going to finish everything on his plate, while she eyeballs his food with fork poised in the air, ready to devour all contents on both plates.  And what's with Robin snacking after meals, eating four pieces of cornbread with an already 3-course dinner and then passing out on the couch only to wake up an hour later to scarf down 2 healthy portions of freshly baked apple-date bars (with extra sugar, I might add).

Yes, the household is indeed a strange universe these days.  After Robin rubbed my belly and told me, "Pumpkin, you've gotta eat!" his eyes widened in disbelief and he said "OMG, I'm telling you to eat more.  The world has gone mad!"  And after Robin pushed me out of the way of the still-warm baked goods that sat cooling on the counter and stuffed a whole corner piece in his mouth before grabbing another to take with him to the living room, well - it's no exaggeration that I looked on with what might be described as 'shock.'

I inquire where the tortilla chips or oatmeal cookies are, and Robin's response is "In my belly!" and I can see the crinkled-up, ravaged bags hidden in the garbage can.   When I tease him or at least make an observation, this is what I hear: "Leave me alone - I'm nesting!" he explains with a full mouth.  Uhm, yeah - not much else I can respond with.  Time for bed....

What's next?  Robin's belly will expand at a faster rate than mine and I'll end up with the six-pack?  Who knows?

10.26.2006  "Home Office Novelty"
For those of you who are accustomed to working from home, today's entry won't be terribly exciting. But since I'm opting to work from home until my sore, achy body heals I thought I'd say a few words about the situation.

It's very convenient and I appreciate that I don't have to leave the confines of my house in order to do my job.  As long as I have my computer, internet connection, and telephone line, I'm totally connected.  However, I can't help but think it's a bit bizarre.  I'm sitting here in my pajamas (basically), unwashed hair, old-Chinese-lady slippers in the computer nook off from the front room.  I can hear the children yelling and playing during their recess at the schoolyard across the street.  When I glance up from the screen in my moments of 'deep thought', I catch glimpses of the hypnotic ceiling fan, or the "Happy Retirement" banner leftover from my mom's retirement party, or the David Hockney "Pacific Coast" print above the mantle.  I just had a teleconference call, and they had no idea that I was doing some yoga stretches while I listened and participated as needed.  And even though it was nice to hear the team's voices and be included in the discussion from 15 km away, I was still very aware that they were there and I was here.

Working from home is cool and I feel totally privileged that I can still collect full salary while stationed in my living room. There's absolutely no way I could do this if I was in construction or the food service industry, for example.  However I still prefer the full experience of going into the office. Call me crazy, but it's true.

10.25.2006  "Wrong Porn Order"
Oh, the antics last night at home.  And so typical Robin.

He was trying to figure out why our PVR won't let us directly record Pay-Per-View movies.  When we select "Record" the screen displays a message to call the Shaw movie ordering line.  So he was on the phone with this sister-in-law who happens to work for Shaw.  They decided to do a test and she would issue a free credit for whatever movie he chose.  So he requested an adult movie (of course).  But in that timeslot, there were two to choose from: "Wild Party Girls 3" and "Open House."  He noted that the latter was a man-on-man film so he opted for the former one.

Well, by accident he chose the homoerotic flick.  I could hear the screams coming from the living room.  "Shit, I ordered the wrong one!  I don't want this one!  I want 'Wild Girls', dammit!  How do I switch it?"  Well, it was too late.  I hobbled into the room to enjoy the chaos and to amuse myself.  Poor guy - he was panicky and sweaty and he could hear stereo-sound laughter (from myself as well as from the phone).  It's just so typical of something he would do, by accident.

Oh, it was fun for a laugh.  I'll probably still smile when I think about it for the next couple of days.  Who needs to leave their own home for entertainment?

10.20.2006  "Belated Birthday Dinner and Gift - Ta-Dah!!!"
I was so looking forward to my date with Aaron last night, and as expected I had a great time.  Even though he already attended my birthday festivities a couple of weeks ago, he insisted on some one-on-one time with me.

We engaged in friendly, intelligent conversation and he bought me dinner at the Clubhouse (my new favourite thing in life is their Holy California roll - giant CA rolls deep-fried).  Then he gave me a card which was actually a Halloween card (since we're closer to Oct. 31st than Sept. 28th).  AND, he gave me a belated birthday present: the latest Scissor Sisters CD "Ta-Dah."

Now, I'm appreciative of all gifts I receive, whether they are gift certificates or presents given months in advance of an actual event, etc.  But I'm a little extra impressed by gifts that are given to me and the generous giver has no idea whether or not I already have the item, if I actually like the item, etc. and I turn out to LOVE the gift.  Well, this is the exact situation.  He took a gamble in his gift choice (so to speak) but I totally dig it.

Ah, it made me temporarily forget my aches and pains of that day....

10.19.2006  "Who Knew Cinnabons Could Be So Funny?"
As I'm writing this, I'm trying to think of something (semi) intelligent to say about humour and what makes us laugh (specifically, what makes ME laugh).  But ah, screw it.  Just watch this.

Okay, wait.  I will say this.  I do enjoy finding humour in unlikely places.  The fact that Mr. Cohen came up with the notion of Cinnabons (of all things) making his 'anoose' loose - well, that's just pure genius.  Cinnabon.  Now I can't hear that word without cracking a smile (no pun intended).

10.17.2006  "Size Perception As a Child"
How's this for turn-around time, from journal idea to journal entry....

Tom and I were just emailing each other 5 minutes ago (about non-work stuff, of course) and the topic came up that as a child, things just seemed bigger (or you remember them as being bigger 'back then'?).  And that triggered my memory: did you ever go on an extended family vacation when you were young, and the lot of you stayed in a small motel room (or a tent).  Then when you came back home a couple of weeks later, your house (assuming you grew up in a house) seemed so incredibly huge?

I remember our family did an annual vacation in the Okanagan every summer.  The 3 of us would stay in a 1-bedroom unit with a kitchenette (Mom would have her own room, and my brother and I would camp out on the fold-out couch in the main room).  It was a bit cramped, but fun.  Then when we came home to our 2-storey, 2,000 square foot house - I remember thinking how massive the space was.  I was in awe of the staircase alone for the next few days.  And the whole house seemed foreign, too.  It was a bizarre feeling, but I enjoyed the novelty of it all.

10.16.2006  "Sleeping Batman-Style"
Okay, my sore hip and leg problems have hit an all-time low (or all-time high, however you want to look at it).  The point being - I couldn't sleep the other night because I couldn't even lie down!  The minute I reclined, I'd get shooting pains from my knee all the way up my leg to my lower back.  This is some kind of cruel joke, right?  What am I supposed to do, sleep standing up?

Janine at work suggested that I get a hammock or something.  Not bad.  But then I thought I could sleep Batman-style.  You know, suspended by my feet.  And I could wear a cape too.  How cool is that??

I'm Batman...(and I'm not even delirious from pain-medication because I'm not on any.  So there).

10.12.2006  "Back Off!  Get Your Own Best Friend!"
Robin is trying to commandeer my new best friend (see a previous entry from 09.22.06).  He refers to my heating bag as HIS best friend now.  For example:

> [Robin speaking] I'm going to put MY new, best friend in the microwave! 

And he always comments how lovely the bed smells (like freshly popped corn) after my best friend has been warming my sore back and leg.  Often I'll be looking for my heating bag amongst the mountain of pillows and folds of the sheets and then I'll notice Robin laughing until he finally confesses that he's hidden my warm, best friend under his neck.  If Robin hurts himself in Judo practice, he can just take an aspirin or something.

The sack of corn is mine!  Hands off.

10.11.2006  "Miss Trevor Has Good Taste in Jewelry"
Of course he does.  He has a penchant for shiny, glittery things.  He's the only person I know who owns his own Bedazzler.  Also his ring that he bought from Mexico is simply fabulous (even though this picture does it no justice).  I might add that my new, diamond stud earrings are bigger than his, but I won't rub it in too much.

Anyway.  I'm always impressed when people can buy me jewelry without any input whatsoever from me and I love it.  It's a very personal thing, and can be very tricky. The last time I can recall this is when Ashley bought me the beautiful aquamarine-like pendant on a silver chain - I always get compliments on it.  And last week Trevor gave me a very cool pendant.  It's really difficult to describe, but it has silver, browns and blacks in it.  I can't say that I would have bought it on my own, but as soon as I put it on a double-wrap, silver choker chain and put it on, I loved it.  He said it screamed "Rena" when he saw it, so he bought it.

And now I've been wearing it every day.  It's my new favourite thing to wear.

10.10.2006  "Kittens Will Cure Whatever Ails You"
Robin and I were stopped dead in our tracks the other day at Metrotown.  The 2 front enclosures at the mall pet store were filled with tiny, frisky, playful kittens.  We just had to join the young, Asian kids who were already crowding  the display windows.

The majority of the little critters were curled up together to form a sleeping, multi-coloured, fur-ball comprised of various paws, tails, noses and whiskers.  Then there were a couple of restless kitties who bounced around the jungle-gym and looked wide-eyed at the many admirers.  My favourite was the sleepy, grey-black tabby who was trying to wake up.  He was sitting up alone in the corner, but his eyes were still shut.  Just looking at them made me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

"OH, let's just take one home!" I said to Robin, even though I knew in the end we'd both agree it would be best to look, play a bit, then keep moving on.

If I was to acquire a new pet, it would be from the SPCA or other animal shelter.  Kittens are so universally adorable that they get snatched up in a second.  But what about the older, grumpier, more sedentary cats that sit for months without a single viewer for adoption?  I'd want another Calvin or Bud in their golden years, where they sit and snooze for hours on end, and occasionally wake up to yawn and stretch and get some food and maybe come to you for some snuggle time.  Yes, that's what I'd prefer when I think about it.

10.06.2006  "Where There is Farshad, There Is Free Food"
For the last few outings with Farshad, we've gotten huge discounts on our food bills.  There was that fully-compted lunch at Wilson's Steakhouse (because he knew the head chef) and then the many "Staff Discounts" and "Hot Chick Discounts" at the Eatery (because he and Randy are tight like that).  Now there's another reason to hang out with him (in addition to the great, stimulating conversations and music updates.... :-)

10.05.2006  "Spontaneous Shaving"
While I was shaving my legs in the shower the other day, I had a random thought.  What if I just shaved my eyebrows off?  For the hell of it?  All it would take is a couple of swift motions (after applying some shave gel to the area) and voila - crazy forehead!  I could totally creep Robin out by painting on some 'Grandma Surprise' fake eyebrows.  Actually that would scare me too.

But do you ever have those moments of 'What if' but don't actually follow through with it?  Now think about all those people that just take that extra step (for anything spontaneous like that). As I said, it would just be a couple of motions and about 10 seconds.  Eeek. 

10.03.2006  "Riding Station Wagon Style"
As a young child, did you ever have the chance to ride in the back of an old station wagon?  I'm talking about that little nook area in the back, most likely covered by a beige, carpet-like interior covering.  You would sit with your back to the front of the car and your legs spread out in front of you as you looked at the world getting smaller in the rear window.  Or, the experience was even better in a VW van - not only were you raised above street-level but you probably also had some orange, plaid curtains in the windows to give you some privacy as you peeked at the moving scenery.

Anyway.  My family didn't have one of those old station wagons (or a VW van) growing up, but I had the opportunity to ride in a couple as a youngster.  I don't know why I loved it so much.  I don't think it was just the novelty.  I honestly think there was something exciting and elitist about being far-removed from the operator of the car (a limousine-effect) and the perception that you were almost in your own vehicle.  But the greatest part was looking at the world through a different viewfinder, one that presented the scenery around you in a totally different way.  Watching everything approaching you in the windshield was predictable and boring after awhile - you can see things coming a mile away. But riding backwards, station-wagon style, everything from the road that entered your peripheral vision was suddenly a surprise.  Bam!  There's a yellow VW bug (Punch-buggy Yellow!).  There's a 3-legged dog.  There's the crossing guard.  There's another telephone pole.

But now that I look through the world through my weathered, adult eyes, I wonder if I'd experience that same wide-eyed perspective of the moving sights around me if I was to ride in the back of a station wagon in the present day?  I'd like to think that it would be novel again, at least for a little while, as I experienced the world through my kid-eyes once again.