Journal Archives (Feb-Mar 2004):

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03.31.2004
"What a Great Looking Couple!"

Brent and I went to Ebi Ten last night for some sushi take-out in preparation for Phat Tuesday with the boys. It was 6pm, and we were convinced that we would run into Ivan there. But we didn't. We got our food, then went to the corner store for some chocolate and Canada Dry. As soon as we walked into Brent's, the buzzer rang - it was Ivan.

We told him that we had expected to see him at the restaurant, and he told us that he had seen us. He was across the street on his way to Ebi Ten and he saw two people walk out. He thought to himself, "What a good-looking, urban couple!"

And he realized it was Brent and me. Nice!

03.30.2004
"Evil!"

I was riding my bike on the weekend, and I had a thought: How hard is it to re-route your mail? I know that you can pay a fee to Canada Post and have all your mail sent automatically to another address. If this is relatively easy to do, wouldn't that be an evil way to mess with someone i.e. re-route their mail to an unknown address?

03.29.2004
"Happiness Is a State of Being (or Changing?)"

If you ask me if I'm happy with my life in general, the answer is "Yes." But if I dig a bit deeper, there will almost always be an issue that's weighing a little heavy on my mind (heavier than I'd like). Lately it's been my inner judgment/conflict regarding the fact that I'm 32 years old and I've been living on my own for the last 8 years and I love every minute of it. Since I'm so used to being on my own, won't it be rather difficult to adjust to living with a partner or spouse in the future? I remember when I was younger (maybe in my mid-20s?), all I worried about then was, "What am I going to be doing this weekend? Where's the next party?" - that kind of thing.

I was happy then and I'm still happy now. And it's interesting to note that my life situation has changed quite a bit over the last several years.  Henry used to tease me that I was only happy if something in my life was in transition, that I wasn't comfortable with complacency and found it stagnant as opposed to comforting. He's definitely right, to a degree.

To resolve my current conflict, maybe eventually I'll grow tired of living alone and instead crave to share my living space with another person. Hopefully.

03.26.2004
"Farewell to Four Ladies (Five, including Manhattan)"

I'm normally not one to rant. I try to find the positive in everything. However, I have to say that I was really disappointed in the series finale of "Sex and the City." You might say, "Relax, Rena - it's just a TV show."

Yes. But it's a well-written TV series, and I think many current TV shows lack good scripts. I love the clever dialogue, attention-holding topics/situations, witty observations, etc. And I found the final episode to be a complete departure from the formula that has worked so well over the years.

The characters had terrible lines (e.g. "Maybe God forgot our address!" - Charlotte and Harry dealing with their adoption crisis). There was no first-person narrative to pull you into the show. And the fact that all four women were conveniently paired up and everything was wrapped up so neatly - I have more respect for a realistic ending as opposed to an overly-optimistic ending.

I started thinking about other series finales that I've been disappointed in ("Seinfeld", "Cheers" to name some). But one series finale that blew me away was "Roseanne". Now that was amazing - not a happy ending, a great twist (well, several - like did you know that Jackie was gay, and Darlene was actually dating Mark?), and real emotions. It was no "MASH", but I bought it.

03.25.2004
"Enigma-Tized"

Last night was supposed to be Eatery sushi night with Farshad and Glyn as per usual (a highlight of my week!). But last night it was too packed and loud there and we were getting really hungry. So, we decided to ditch the normal plans and head to Enigma, a place near 10th and Sassamat (near UBC) that Farshad heard about.

I will definitely go back again! It's got a good atmosphere (nice, but not too stuffy), mixed environment (dim dining area on one end and hockey game and DJ across the room), decent prices, eclectic menu (amazing wok-fried calamari, Guinness stew, shared curry platter, Mac & Cheese, burgers) and Wednesday just happened to be specials night for wings and martinis ($4.50/lb and $4.50 for 2oz).

I love going to the Eatery every week, but I'm also a huge fan of trying new things! I love discovering new hang-outs.

03.24.2004 
"Karaoke Competition???"

I've been going to Brent's every Tuesday to do Karaoke Revolution. Last night I kicked it up to Medium - not bad. I also tried some new songs that I've never done before. My goal was to unlock some new outfits and songs, but no luck. Next time.

I know Brent and Mark have been practicing quite a bit - a few times a week, I'm sure. I jokingly said I was going to buy it for Robin's place and practice it there. The looks of horror on their faces! Their response, "Well, we're just going to have to practice every day then!" Silly boys - it's just fun and games, and not a competition. Or is it...?

03.23.2004
"Spring-Time Fresh Part 2"

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I pulled out a pair of corduroy pants that I had purchased last year but never wore. They are a neutral colour, perhaps an oatmeal?

Anyway, walking to the bus stop in the early morning sunshine, I noticed that my pant legs looked glaringly white almost! I'd say it's a tad early in the season for white pants. Oh dear - maybe I'm jumping the gun on this spring clothes thing....

03.22.2004
"Spring-Time Fresh"

I got ready this morning as per usual. I chose my grey Mexx pants, a long-sleeved blue-button shirt, black boots, and my black wool jacket. I was waiting at the bus stop, and I noticed that everyone around me was wearing light-weight clothes in beiges or whites. I suddenly felt very weighted down and heavy.

Then I remembered that it was the first day of spring yesterday. I think it's definitely time to put the black wool to rest and bring out the spring fashions. I can hardly wait!

03.21.2004
"Happy Birthday, Farshad!"

Wow. I just got home from "The Gong Show." For Farshad's birthday this year, he organized his most successful celebration to-date. It was in a very cool warehouse-like space (during the day it's a movie studio). There were about 500 people there, and I saw many familiar faces (many I've met through Farshad over the years). The visuals, the lights, the music - all amazing. Farshad should be extremely proud of what he was able to pull off. Kudos to you.

And for those of you who know Farshad, here's a link to his birthday present from me.

03.19.2004
"We So Seldom Kissed"

I appreciate good writing. Last night, I read an amazing short story. It was Barbara Gowdy's "We So Seldom Look on Love." This was the short story that the movie "Kissed" was based on. I saw the movie several years ago and thought it was amazing. I thought it affectively portrayed a taboo subject (necrophilia) with emotion and depth. The short story also treats the touchy subject matter with respect and dignity, and it is extremely 'tightly' written - every sentence is only in there if it is necessary. I'd even go so far as to say it is one of the most perfectly-written pieces I've ever read. Thank you, Ms Gowdy.

03.18.2004
"Luck vs. Confidence"

I can be a tad superstitious sometimes, but only in a good way. Yesterday, I found not one but two pennies on the street first thing in the morning. "Hmmmm, extra good luck today," I thought to myself.

Feeling good, my day developed into a very satisfying and fulfilling experience. Work was extremely challenging, but I suddenly had this new attitude of "Everything is going to work in my favour." My conference calls went well, I was decisive under pressure, and I took everything in stride (even when confronted by a 5-alarm emergency at 5:45pm). Later that night I went to Ivan's. I found a parking spot right away (in the West End!), and there was even 38 minutes left on the parking meter - I only had to add an extra 20 cents. I bought an enormous shwarma platter and ate it all. Normally that would have some repercussions on my gut, but no problems last night. And on the way home, I hit every green light. I was walking through my door within 7 minutes of leaving downtown.

I'm not one to believe in luck per se. But I never hesitate to pick up a 'lucky' penny. Days like yesterday are definitely attributed to a good attitude and confidence. I think I can hear the sound of a new leaf being turned over.....

03.17.2004
"My Second Week-day Home"

Last night was "Phat Tuesday" at Brent's (sushi tray and 2-bite brownies - mmmmmmm!). We watched "America's Next Top Model" (Shandi Shame Fest!) and did some Karaoke Revolution (way to go, Miss Trevor!). I was sprawled on the couch at one point, Miss Ivan lying beside me, Brent and Mark were looking up something on the computer, Trevor was on his way, and it dawned on me - this is my home away from home during the week. I am so comfortable here with these guys.

On the weekend, Brent joked about us all buying a house together, living as roomies. You know, I think it just might work out.

03.16.2004
"Old Habits Are Easily Forgotten"

There are certain things that I do without even thinking while I'm doing it e.g. double-locking my apartment door, putting on a belt, etc. These 'rituals' are so habitual, part of my every day life.

But Sunday I forgot to put my car club on while at Robin's. And today I forgot to put on a necklace. It's bizarre how something so routine and repetitive can easily drop off your radar.

03.15.04
"Routine Can Be Dangerous"

I've been thinking lately how routine my life is. I'm not saying that I'm bored. What I mean is that I seem to have regularly scheduled social outings for most days of the week. Even though that's a very practical and efficient approach to socializing, it's not necessarily the most ideal (I miss being spontaneous!). Other aspects of my life have become routine: pre-work cleansing rituals, morning yoga sessions, Saturday bike rides, Sunday laundry sessions, etc.

Then today one of my co-workers was telling us about in certain rural parts of Australia, how they advise you NOT to always follow your same walking path during the day (e.g. on the way to work). This is because Aussie crocodiles will actually watch and follow you for sometimes up to a week. And then one day, when you least expect it, there will be one waiting for you at the end of the bridge.

I wonder if there are any Vancouver equivalents to those crocs? That would be reason enough to shake up your routine a little bit.

03.12.04
"Eat to Live"

Last night was "Dining Out for Life" in Vancouver. Proceeds from bills from participating restaurants goes to Loving Spoonful. It was myself, Brent, Mark, Sheldon and Dave. We went to Taki's and ate our fair share of calamari, pita, souvlaki and rice. Delicious! We had a great visit and it was all for a good cause. I went home feeling full and satisfied.

03.11.04 
"Talking Heads"
I'm a sucker for good conversation. Seriously. Sometimes after a really good conversation, I feel almost elated, and the feeling sticks with me for awhile. Call me a conversational slut.

So, if that's the case, Aaron's got to be one "mack-daddy." We have the best conversations. We cover all topics with ease, humour, and intelligence: prehistoric crocodiles, discomfort with ultra-violent films, composing mixed CDs with a "Secret Agent" theme, auto-generated blogs, the magic of iTunes, and job satisfaction were just some of the discussions from last night. Thanks, Ace!

03.10.04
"Hands Clean "

Andy, Sareh and I were talking about hand-washing lately (the conversation probably stemmed from memories of Brian's "Lady Macbeth" routine). I admitted that my hand-washing regime could probably be improved a little bit (I tend to rush).

Sareh told me about her routine that her mother taught her: every time she washes her hands, she sings "Happy Birthday To Me". The length of the song is enough time to ensure germ-free hands.

So now, when I wash my hands, I often sing "Happy Birthday" as well. However, for some reason, I always sing, "Happy Birthday dear Sareh" instead of "dear Rena." Whacked. I can hear Andy laughing already.

03.09.04 
"Time Off"

I was on the Cambie bus this morning, heading to Blast in Yaletown. I was thinking of the work day ahead of me, what I needed to do, high-priority issues, etc. Looking out the window, I also noticed that it was sunny out - so beautiful.

Then I remembered my time off last year. I was 'on sabbatical' (laid off from my Motorola) from June to October. It was glorious! Every day was amazing. I went to bed and woke up when I wanted to. I was doing something fun every day - riding my bike, going to the beach, visiting friends, going out to lunch, reading in the park, going to the Film Festival, going away to Whistler and Sunshine Coast. Each day was relaxing and rewarding. It was a great time.

I am thankful to be working again, but I will never forget the summer of 2003. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

03.08.04
"Tammy is off to Tahiti"

I found out yesterday that my cousin Tammy, who currently is doing her Masters Degree at the University of Hawaii, is off to a research expedition in Tahiti. Her sister, my other cousin Leah, has been living in Amsterdam for the past couple of years.

Am I envious? Sure, yes - a little bit. However I'm also happy with my life in Vancouver. I've traveled to various places over the years and had some amazing experiences; but, when my plane is touching down back at YVR, I always feel relieved and happy to be home. I've thought about leaving Vancouver before in the past, but now I find myself content and eager to plant roots. If anything, my cousins' traveling reminds me that there's a whole other world out there that I can explore (i.e. visit temporarily).

But I will always know where home is.

03.07.04
"Snippets from Sunday with Robin"

Location: In the car, en route to Burnaby.

Robin: "Rena? Rena! Are you listening to me? Have you heard what I've been saying for the last 2 minutes?"

Rena: [No response while looking at Robin. Just a mischievous smile].

Robin: "Oh my God" [rubs forehead in mocked exasperation] "You drive me crazy!"

Rena: [Pause, still smiling and staring] "You're so pretty! I have the handsomest boyfriend EVER!" [Laughs]

I love spending my weekends with Robin. I really enjoy spending time with him. I look forward to whatever activity we're doing. It doesn't matter what we do, because with him it's always fun. It could be something as mundane as going to Save-On or Home Depot, or as stimulating and crazy as going to the drag races in the sticks (I'm SO looking forward to that in the summer!).

We never run out of things to talk about, or sometimes it's just silly banter back and forth (see above). Loving your partner is one thing (which I definitely do), but liking them and enjoying their company is just as important too.

03.05.04
"Sheltered"

I see or read it in the news every day - bombings and violence in Iraq. But after about 10 minutes, my mind is pre-occupied by other things (Is it time for lunch yet? What am I doing tonight? What am I going to wear tomorrow? etc).

But then I remember Sherif, who is in Baghdad for work. I e-mail him, and he tells me that he's ok. But then he tells me details, like how his car was almost pushed off the side of the road when a bomb detonated at a nearby hotel.

So scary. I feel so sheltered, protected by my life here in Vancouver. It's so easy to lose perspective and forget about the really important things in life.

03.04.04
"Jumbo"

Last night I was waiting for Farshad and Glyn at the Eatery. I was reading the Georgia Straight, and they started to play "Jumbo" by Underworld. It's such an amazing song, and it has such a rich and unique bass line, and Randy's sound system is just so incredible that the song seemed to come alive.

I started to get that positive, uplifted feeling that I sometimes get when I hear certain music. Usually it's with live performances (e.g. Paul van Dyk at Sonar, Basement Jaxx at Commodore, "Mamma Mia"). But hearing "Jumbo" last night, I just got that "everything is good" feeling, and the mood was still with me when I woke up this morning.

Music is amazing for the soul. I have to remind myself to actually 'listen' to my music once in awhile, and 'hear' it, and don't just delegate it to the background while I think about other things.

03.03.04
"Rena is April!"

I've discovered my new favourite thing: Brent got Karaoke Revolution for his PS2. I sang 3 songs ("Wind Beneath My Wings", "Kiss Me", and "Bizarre Love Triangle") and got the top 3 scores. Phun! I can hardly wait to do it again!

After my second platinum record score, Brent yells out, "Rena is April!" What? "You know, from 'America's Top Model'. She's good at everything. She can do anything!"

Thanks, B ;-)

03.02.04
"Different"

Our various friends play various roles in our lives, 'filling various holes' so to speak. Ivan and I went to Foundation recently, an all-veggie restaurant. Not too many of my other friends would be excited to go (well, maybe just a couple of them). 

But going to hole-in-the-wall (and often cleanliness-challenged) Chinese restaurants is something that I only do with Peter. Coffee dates that entail not engaging in conversation and instead reading magazines is something I can only get away with when I'm with Aly. "Phat Tuesdays" and other activities that involve healthy doses of chocolate and carbs are shared with Brent and Mark. Deep, thought-provoking conversations while enjoying the Vancouver view from a beach blanket is for Henry. Crazy, late-night parties and new adventures are best with Farshad. And traveling anywhere (Mexico, gay rodeos) is a blast with Trevor.

I've never really had a 'best friend' (well, maybe when I was a teen). I love all my friends, and I appreciate the diverse comforts that they all bring to various aspects of my life.

03.01.04
"The Drive Home"

Last night, Sunday night, around 9:30pm. I'm packing up my things at Robin's. I've been with him for the past 27 hours. It's been a fantastic time: Chinese take-out for dinner and the hockey game, a Sunday walk, Afghan cuisine for lunch, a visit with my mother to see her new condo, Thai food for dinner, watching some of the Oscars on TV.

By then, he's crashed on the couch. It's time to go home. Or is it? I could stay another night, I know I'm welcome to. But then it'll be Monday morning, both of us have work. And I haven't been home for the past couple of days, I really should go there and tidy up there, etc.

I waffle for a bit. I really want to stay and hang out a bit more. But in the end I decide to leave. It feels great to hug him before I get into my car, I almost don't want to let him go.

The drive home from Burnaby is quick. But that's probably because the whole way home I'm thinking about things, like, "What if I never had to leave and go home? What if I was already 'home'?"

02.28.04
"Saturday with Ivan"

Today, nothing extraordinary happened. But it was just one of those perfect days. I woke up at 9am and went for a bike ride around the False Creek seawall. It felt great.

Then at 12:30pm, I met Ivan at Soma on Main St. where we had teas and soy lattes. Then it was off to Foundation for a fabulous lunch of baked veggie sandwiches (black beans, feta, chick peas, corn) and green salad with an amazing honey-mustard dressing.

We perused Dadabase on Broadway. Ivan bought a t-shirt with a suit graphic and we checked out the Apple flat screens, crazy beats and some funky art exhibits. Then we went to Motherland and Pleasant Girl where I bought a brown leather wristband with embroidered flowers.

Then it was off to South Granville where we perused Caban, and I bought a brown tunic that was mega on sale ($39 instead of $139). After looking through Bedo, we parted ways. A hug, a "Miss Rena! Miss Ivan!", and an agreement that today was a most fantastic day.

Good food, good times, good friends - that's what it's all about.

02.27.04
"She Used to be Fun!!!"

It was a comment made, months ago, in December at Farshad's holiday party. It wasn't hurtful or anything. But it stuck with me.

Robin and I were calling it an early evening at 12:30am or so, leaving to go home to sleep after a day of non-stop activity. Adam was wondering why I wasn't sticking around for the next round of J-ELLO shots. He watched Robin and I heading out the door and yelled out, "But she used to be fun!!!"

Late-night parties and drunken excursions are definitely signatures of my younger years. But now I only indulge in them once in awhile. These days, I prefer spending quality time with friends in more intimate settings. Staying up past 2am is rare for me, and I find myself up by 9am on Saturdays to go for a bike ride. Before, I used to love climbing into bed at 6pm on Saturday evenings for a nap, then grabbing a late-night meal and heading out to the bars. Now, I'm ecstatic to be driving out to Burnaby at 6pm on Saturday night to spend an evening with my boyfriend by the fireplace.

So, if I used to be fun, what does it mean to be the new Rena? 

It's all about choice, and I'm happy with the choices that I've made.

02.26.04
"A Break in the Routine"

I'm fortunate in that my job hours are pretty flexible (I love hi-tech!). However, I still have a pretty steady routine in the morning: I set my alarm for approximately the same time, I'm doing my yoga at a certain time, and I'm in the shower by... well, you get the idea.

Anyway, last night I slept over at Robin's in Burnaby. I don't think I've ever done that during the week - he'll stay at my place during the week. So, this morning, the alarm woke me up at 6:45am (!!!) and I was in my car heading down Kingsway by 6:57am. It was a lovely drive, not too busy. I kind of miss my morning commute that I used to drive (now I bus or bike) - it was my time alone, to think, or to just enjoy my music and the scenery.

When I got home, it was 7:15am - just in time for my morning yoga. But it sure was a nice break from my usual routine.

02.26.04
"A Fresh Perspective"

Have you ever been in a room in your house, and stood in a far corner or some other part of the room that you don't often go to? When you look back out at the room, it looks totally different. Give it a try.

02.25.04
"Water Cooler"

I was perusing the intranet at work, and I stumbled across a Daily Inspiration quote: Inspiration Excellent day for drinking heavily. Spike office water cooler.

This was a joke with Farshad and Aaron at Motorola. In my UNIX .plan file, I described how I was going to take over the company and make it a better place to work in by putting Ecstasy in the drinking water. It was my hidden plan that we often laughed about.

But here at Blast Radius, we are encouraged to do so (as a joke, I assume). We've come a long way, baby!

02.24.04
"We've Got a Pepper Bar!!!"

So, we were at Brent's place tonight. Mark, Ivan and Brent were all trying to describe the new 'mascot' for Quizno's Subs. They're telling me it's something out of a nightmare, it's screaming from the TV, it's not speaking proper English, it's frightening, it's like a hand-puppet but not quite, it's like a deformed guinea pig with an over-sized moving human mouth, etc.

I couldn't quite get a mental picture. They said it was indescribable. So, I checked it out.

OMG. They were right. It is beyond description. You have to check it out for yourself: What was Quizno's thinking? Who would want to buy food from an establishment that has a mutant, furry, gerbil-puppet creature with massive teeth as its spokesperson? Creepy.

02.23.04
"Of Lunches Past"

I talked to Ketan the other day. We both agreed that we missed having daily lunches with the gang from Motorola. I mentioned that my new co-workers were lovely and friendly, but if I was to bring up some of the lunch table topics that we used to discuss at Mot (e.g. bodily functions, S&M, etc) it might not go over too well.

Then I had lunch with Jim yesterday (also ex-Mot). We met downtown at the Apple Deli and talked about movies, The Simpsons, gossip, etc. I realized that these were things we used to discuss on a daily basis, and it felt good to just ease into a familiar conversation over my lunch hour.

Building up a comfort level with a group of people takes time and effort. And once I have it, I never take it for granted. I want the people around me to know that.

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