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06.30.05 "Generous Host"
I really enjoyed last night's dream. I dreamt I was at some
rich person's mansion (might have been Virgin-founder Richard Branson?).
Anyway, he threw this amazing party that included platters of beautiful,
decadent sushi (like deep-fried crab, enormous maki rolls of every kind
imaginable, etc). There were also pastries and desserts, and the
offerings went on forever (multiple rooms filled with tables of food).
I felt a little weird about accepting all this, but then I got over my
uneasiness and started helping myself to the delicious offerings.
Interpretation:
Sushi and pastries are some of my favourite
foods. The fact that they were offered to me in abundance and I
felt a little uneasy accepting them is an interesting thing.
Everyone else was partaking. Maybe I'm feeling a little guilty
about indulging myself these days? That's a new one for me.
Maybe it's simply because I gorged myself yesterday and was feeling a
little bad about it. All I know is the sushi presentation in my
dream was out of this world. Oh, to have that in waking life....
06.24.05 "He's Hot. You're
With Him? Whatever!"
I just remembered last night's dream. I dreamt I was holding
Brent's hand and we were walking down the street. A young woman
passed us and gave me quite the dirty look. Brent asked me what
that was all about. My suspicion in the dream was that she was
wondering why I was with such a hot guy. I felt a little uneasy
about it, and it kind of made me feel a little self-conscious.
Interpretation:
This is funny, because a similar incident
happened in real life last week. Robin and I were walking
hand-in-hand to the Clubhouse and a woman passed us on the sidewalk.
I didn't notice, but Robin told me that she 'scoped' me (looked me up
and down, and not really in a positive way). We joked that she was
thinking: how did she get that hot-looking guy? I honestly didn't
get paranoid or self-conscious at the time. And then 1 week later
I have this dream. It's particularly odd because lately I've felt
really good physically (been monitoring my diet, doing regular sit-ups,
continuing with my yoga and weight lifting and bicycle riding regime).
So, I honestly don't know what this dream is all about.
06.22.05 "Bed Hog"
I haven't really been remembering my dreams lately. But I'm
not complaining, because I seem to be sleeping so well. I've been
going to bed during the week around 10:30pm (early for me) and sleeping
through to 7am. And when I awake I feel refreshed and ready for my
morning yoga.
One thing I
have noticed over the past year is what a bed hog I am. Maybe it's
due to all those years when I had the bed all to myself for extended
periods of time? But I'm also pretty sure that I would crowd my
mother when I was young and slept with her occasionally in her
king-sized bed. Well, nowadays I go to sleep on my side of the
(king-sized) bed and I wake up with my body splayed diagonally and my
head tucked under Robin's armpit. Poor guy, he's only got a tiny
sliver of the bed on his side. We laugh at how obvious my
bed-hogging maneuvers are. But we also both love how snuggly we
are with each other.....
06.07.05 "Airport
Scuffle"
Last night's dream was quite exhausting. I dreamt I was
in an airport and I was trying to depart but I couldn't find my passport
or credit cards, etc. I ended up jumping from one escalator to
another and got to where I wanted to be. Then I came across a gang
who was beating up a woman and a gay man. I decided to jump in and
help them, even though I would probably get pummeled myself. So I
was resourceful and kind of 'tricked' 2 big guys into helping me.
Then I woke up as the attackers were approaching us, but all along I
knew I'd be fine.
Interpretation:
Airports can symbolize getting ready for a
big departure in life, new ideas, new life paths, etc. I don't
think there's anything new here. Robin and I have been having our
semi-regular talks lately about how life would change with children, and
it's been a bit 'negative' lately because we've both been sick and we're
not feeling very positive about change right now. And protecting
people can imply that I'm putting up a wall of some sorts, and I'm
afraid to show my true self. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that
one......
05.19.05 "Cleaning a Mess"
I dreamt Robin had accumulated a bunch of things
that we didn't need (extra dishware, etc). I wasn't that
impressed because he didn't seem intent on organizing or cleaning
anything, so I took it upon myself to do it. At first I was a
bit resentful, but it felt so good to tackle this big project and
get it sorted out. Interpretation:
Oddly
enough Robin and I had a great conversation last night (at my
prompting). I was having some issues coping with certain
relationship things lately but he was able to put my mind at ease.
It's very interesting that cleaning often represents getting rid of
negativity and overcoming obstacles. Very appropriate I'd say.
05.18.05 "Shopping!!!"
I dreamt I was shopping with my co-worker Deanna.
We were in this mall market and there were tons of those
peasant-like shirts with embroidery (something I'm actually looking
for in waking life). There were also tons of beaded necklaces.
There was so much to choose from. It was fun.
Interpretation:
I
take this dream as a good omen. Shopping can indicate my wants
and desires. So, the fact that I found exactly what I was
looking for is very encouraging. The fact that I was with
Deanna is significant too. She's been really helping me
lately, giving me grounded advice and making me feel more confident
about myself. So, I think I should continue to listen to her
if I want to continue feeling good about myself.
5.16.05 "Attack of the Zombies"
I had a stressful dream on the weekend, but I
really got into it. I dreamt the world was being overrun by
zombies. A group of us found a safe hiding spot on top of this
building. We were reinforcing doors and windows so they
wouldn't get in. It was pretty stressful but I felt safe and
knew I wouldn't get hurt.
Interpretation:
Just
like "Shaun of the Dead" (but no one died in my dream). It
seems that zombies can represent the fact that you feel out of touch
with your surroundings. I did mention to Robin the other day
that I still see my friends but often in group settings, and don't
get to spend as much one-on-one time as I used to. Maybe that
triggered it? Who knows. It was a movie-like dream and I
enjoyed it.
05.13.05 "A Whole Lot of Laundry"
I dreamt I was doing multiple loads of laundry in
a public establishment. It was mildly stressful because I
walked in and realized I had multiple machines on the go and there
were many people in the laundromat. But there were enough
machines for everyone. I collected my stuff and was on my way.
Interpretation:
Doing
laundry can signify cleaning up your act. It's not surprising
to have this dream this week. I've been doing some
self-reflection in the last couple of days, focusing on my
potentially outdated communication patterns and approaches.
05.05.05 "The Old Apartment"
Before I went to sleep last night, I was
reminiscing about my old apartment on Cambie Street. Then I
had a dream that I had my own apartment again, and it was really
cool. It reminded me of a Whistler loft - lots of sharp
corners, a rooftop balcony, nicely decorated. But when I went
to the bedroom (very cozy with a beautiful sleigh bed), I started to
panic somewhat. I was wondering why Robin wasn't there with
me. But the feeling passed, and I realized I would be seeing
him soon.
Interpretation:
Home
is where I am now. And I'm comfortable and happy there.
Plain and simple.
05.03.05 "Massive Clean-up"
I had an early morning dream, sometime before 6
and 7am (after Robin and Bud woke me up). I dreamt I was doing
a massive clean-up of my old apartment. I was going through
some food containers, and to my horror there were many bugs.
It was pretty gross but I was so happy to get rid of it.
Interpretation:
It's
no surprise that cleaning (especially your home) implies removing
negativity from your life and overcoming obstacles. And those
darn bugs again - well, those are just my typical anxieties.
Recently, I had a breakthrough about how I handle other people's
negativity. I realized that I can let other people get to me,
but in the end people are going to behave how they want to behave.
And I have to let it go. Their garbage is not my garbage (as
my mother always told me). And I think my dream partly
represented this epiphany. I'm cleaning house, and I'm
cleaning my psyche.
04.29.05 "Fire Island and Calvin Again"
I didn't think that I was stressed out last
night, but I had some anxiety dreams. In the first dream,
Robin and I were still on vacation in Dominican Republic but it was
a small island. A storm hit and a palm tree was struck by
lightning and caught fire. I climbed up this tall structure
where I was safe but I couldn't find Robin. It was pretty
stressful, but he eventually showed up and everything was ok.
In another dream, I dreamt Calvin was still alive
but he was kind of back-from-the-dead, kind of a zombie. I
held him and cradled him and felt sorry for him. But then he
warmed up to me and it felt good to hold him.
Interpretation:
So
both dreams had negative emotions, but in the end I felt better.
I think the first dream is just a metaphor for my relationship.
Our vacation has brought us closer together, and I think I depend on
Robin more and more as time goes on (for security, companionship,
comfort, etc). Now the second dream is a little more puzzling.
I was looking at a picture of Calvin yesterday and maybe that
triggered it. Sounds like I still have some open issues with
his death. Maybe I feel that I didn't contribute enough in the
final year (I didn't see him as often in that last year). So
maybe I'll continue having those dreams of comforting him until I
find some peace with it.
04.26.05 "Working with Mom"
Last night's dream was kind of hazy. But I
recall my mom and I were working at Blast Radius together. I
went to the upstairs coffee room and she was sitting by herself
having something to drink. She seemed fine, but when I saw her
I felt sorry for her, worried that she was lonely. It was a
terrible feeling. But then later I saw her talking to a bunch
of co-workers, people that I didn't even know. And I thought
to myself, 'Hey, that's great. She knows a bunch of the cool
people here.'
Interpretation:
I
think this dream is just playing up (and then invalidating) my fear
that my mother is lonely. It was such a horrible feeling,
seeing her and thinking she was unhappy. But in the end, I do
think she's fine. I'm just being a paranoid daughter.
04.07.05 "Fruit Galore and Cozy House Parties"
Lately I haven't really remembered my dreams, but
last night's dream was pretty vivid. I dreamt Robin and I and a
large group of our friends went to a house party. It was in
this small, cozy place (almost a converted garage?) with many
pillows and couches. I also distinctly remember this large
tray of exotic fruit (they almost looked like doughnuts and sweets,
but they were definitely fruit). I remember feeling social and
comfortable, hanging out with my friends and meeting new people.
Interpretation:
Houses
typically represent your soul and self. Feeling at ease with
my close friends as well as strangers is a good feeling. Fruit
can signify growth, financial gain and sexuality. The fact
that they were delicious and practically disguised as doughnuts
(which I love!) can only mean fortune and prosperity. I hope.
04.05.05 "Giant Spider (Again)"
As I was preparing for sleep last night, I
thought to myself: it was pretty stressful at work today, so I bet
I'm going to have one of those anxiety/spider dreams again.
Sure enough, that's what happened. I dreamt I was in my aunt's
basement and there was this large, black spider that was suspended
from the ceiling. It was so large that you could actually see
its eyes (all 8 of them). It was slowly descending, but slow
enough for me to get the heck out of there.
Interpretation:
Nothing
new here. Just the usual work-induced stress. But I'm
glad I took matters into my own hands and left. It shows that
I'm not being completely overrun.
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