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12.24.04 "Spooky Body Sleep Experience"
Last night was quite trippy. I woke up at
3am and had troubles getting back to sleep. I laid there, kind
of dozing, yet thinking of things at the same time. I think
what happened is my body was in sleep mode, but my mind was still
going. I remember feeling my body shift positions (move an
arm, shift my head, etc), but I was thinking, "I'm not doing this.
My body is moving on its own."
Then I must have fully slipped into a dream, but I
thought I was awake. I dreamt that I woke Robin up and told
him about this odd experience. But then I didn't recognize the
room, didn't recognize him, and I told him I was having a panic
attack. I asked him to hug me and he did. And then I
felt better. Crazy. And then when I woke up for real, I
told him all about it.
12.23.04 "Beds and Buses"
Last night's dream was a bit hazy. I
remember one segment where I was making my bed, but it was my old
one from my Cambie apartment (an old double-mattress that had seen
better days). And in the dream, it was really beaten up and I
remember thinking, "It's definitely time for a new mattress!"
The second portion I remember involved public transit again. I
had gotten on the skytrain heading home, but then found out it was a
bus and I would be going to Metrotown instead. At first it was
troublesome, but then I realized that I could easily take a
connecting bus from the mall.
Interpretation:
The
transit segment is totally familiar (see the "Wrong Bus" entry from
Oct 10, 2004). But the bed dream could be explored a bit more.
Apparently beds can represent our intimate selves and security.
The fact that it was my old bed (as opposed to the bed I share with
Robin) definitely makes it personal. And the fact that it was
in need of help or replacement (and I was happy about it as opposed
to remorseful) signifies that there's something about myself that I
think is due for a change or improvement. Recently, I had my
confidence shaken a bit and I've been taking steps to resolve that
internally i.e. handle the situation better, be more secure about
myself. This could be all tied into the dream. OR, it
could be the simple reflection of the fact that Robin and I need a
new mattress (we're planning on buying a new one in the new year).
12.15.04 "Dream or Did that Really Happen?"
This happens sometimes: I'll have a flashback to
something and I can't remember if it was a part of a dream or if it
really happened. Recently, I recall a conversation where
Marnie mentioned that something was "too pedestrian" and then Mark
laughed. We all thought it was clever. This could have
happened Saturday at the Kingston. I can't remember.....
12.14.04 "Public Singing"
I dreamt I was in some cafe that had Karaoke
Revolution and I was going to sing "Bizarre Love Triangle" (an easy
one for me). However, I couldn't quite get the tone/pitch at
first and I was a little embarrassed and panicky. But then I
got the hang of it.
Interpretation:
Singing
can represent harmony and joy, and uplifting others with your
cheerful disposition. The fact that I faltered a bit probably
represents a minor setback I had last week (it was a terrible week!
I was so moody!). But I was able to recover no problem and
belt out a tune and be happy as usual. Good times, good times.
12.07.04 "Calvin Again"
I dreamt I was holding Calvin and he was his
young, robust self. He felt large and heavy in my arms, like
he used to feel. I started to cry - I think it was because I
felt I was saying good-bye. The crying felt good, though.
When I woke up, I checked to see if my face was wet. That's
how real everything felt.
Interpretation:
I
have been thinking of my Calvin lately, probably because Christmas
is approaching and I used to look forward to spending more time with
him (when I slept over at my mom's on Christmas Eve). But now
that he lives with my brother, I don't see him very often. I'm
not exactly sure what I was saying good-bye to in my dream?
Perhaps to tradition? But it felt good in the dream. So
I guess that's a good thing. I'm acknowledging that things are
changing around me but I'm accepting them.
12.06.04 "Pregnant"
I dreamt I was pregnant, but my belly wasn't as
big as it should have been. I was pretty concerned in the
dream. The fact that I was smaller than normal didn't make me
feel any better (i.e. I hadn't gained much weight). My
first and only concern was with the health of my baby.
Interpretation:
Dreaming
that you're pregnant can represent some part of your personality
that's growing and developing. It could be the birth of a new
project or direction. Hmmmm. Looking at the context of
the dream (i.e. the concern over the health of my baby), it seems to
indicate that whatever new path I'm taking I'm being pretty vigilant
and not so focused on how it benefits me. I seem to be looking
out for others.
12.02.04 "Televised Work-out"
Robin woke me up before he left for work (with
kisses, of course). Then I drifted back to sleep and had a
rather disjointed dream. I dreamt I was in a work-out studio
and I was getting ready to do my morning yoga. However, on the
television was Robin and he was hosting a work-out show.
Suddenly, Robin was with me watching the program. He was
providing commentary, commenting how camera wasn't very flattering
or something. But I thought he looked pretty good.
Interpretation:
I'm
not really going to put much weight on this dream. I'm pretty
sure I was dreaming about yoga because I knew I was going to wake up
soon and do it. The programs you dream of watching on TV can
represent an objective view of things on my mind. So, the fact
that I thought my boyfriend looked good - yeah, nothing really new
there.
11.26.04 "Back at
Dynapro?"
I dreamt that I was back at Dynapro (haven't
worked there since 1998). I was scoping out a job for Marnie,
yet I was potentially working there too. I remember walking
around and noticing how cool the building was, etc.
Interpretation:
I've
always thought that the Dynapro building was the coolest building
I've worked in. I'm pretty sure I had this dream because
Marnie (whom I met at Dynapro) talked yesterday about job-hunting.
The thing that stands out the most for me in this dream was the
feeling I had in my old work place: comfort, admiration. This
ties into a recurring theme I've had in dreams lately, that of
feeling at ease with things from my past. It's a good feeling.
11.23.04 "Mom's New Baby"
I dreamt that I went over to my mother's place.
When she arrived home, she was carrying a baby. Apparently it
was hers. She looked a bit younger than she is now, but I kept
thinking to myself, "Isn't she a bit old to be taking care of a
baby? How is she going to do this?" But then I resolved
myself to the fact that I'd be helping her out.
Interpretation:
Babies
can generally be good omens, symbolizing warmth and new beginnings.
They can also represent vulnerability. The fact that it was my
mother that had the baby suggests to me that I'm viewing her as
being a little fragile - more so now than in earlier years.
But I know I'll be there to help her in any way I can. Also, I
may think that my mother is ready for some new adventures in life,
and I'll be there to share them with her.
11.22.04 "Floating Carvings"
I had a great sleep last night and also a very
vivid, involving dream. I wonder if they're correlated?
I dreamt I was on a bus that was traveling on top of the water.
We were close to shore, but could have been on a river or even the
ocean. There were these large Native, wooden carvings
(animals, parts of Totem poles) that were floating beside the bus -
they looked so real and beautiful. The next thing I knew the
bus was back on land and I was separated from my friends (they were
in a different car). I went to look for them but couldn't find
them. Instead, I saw a bunch of people from past times (e.g.
previous co-workers, people I don't really keep in touch with).
But I wasn't really social, and instead I left. I knew my
friends would be back soon.
Interpretation:
I've
dreamt of buses and water before. The statues and abandonment
situation are different, though. I think overall the dream is
positive. Traveling on the water was peaceful. I don't
normally find Native art attractive, but the carvings I saw were
magnificent. I think it's telling me that there is beauty
around me in places where I wouldn't expect to find it. So
maybe I should pay more attention to my surroundings. Also
being abandoned suggests that it's time to leave old habits behind.
The dream had an overall tone of progressing forwards and to not
jump to conclusions or get stressed out.
11.10.04 "Painting"
In my dream last night I was painting at work
with my co-workers (floors, walls, everything. I accidentally
stepped in some fresh paint and smeared it, but was quick to grab a
brush and touch it up. I was probably the most worried about
it (no one else was really concerned), and it was fine in the end.
Interpretation:
Painting
can signify success in a new project and a promotion. So, the
fact that I was doing this at work - sounds good to me! The
fact that I thought I goofed but then touched it up: that could be a
reminder that I may have set-backs along the way but I'll be able to
handle/fix them if I'm level-headed about it.
11.07.04 "Skunks"
I dreamt that I was at work, but it was an odd
mixture of current co-workers and some from Motorola. I was
looking after someone's young son and he was getting into trouble -
he had let someone's pet skunk out of the yard. I went looking
for the father and saw that everyone was having a great time at
work. But I felt kind of alienated and not very happy there.
Interpretation:
Hmmmm,
well I guess my work anxiety is still there. Interesting
enough, skunks can represent that all is calm in a certain
situation, but I don't necessarily agree with it. So, maybe
work is fine but I'm still feeling some unrest. Well, whatever
it is, I'm sure it's just temporary. Everyone has their 'off'
days. I definitely think I'm due for something like that (it's
been awhile). Thank goodness it's a short week!
11.06.04 "Spiders Again"
I had another anxiety dream with spiders in it.
This time I was trying to avoid them (there were a few large, black
ones running around the house) but people around me were telling me
that it was ok. It was very stressful, and I was happy to wake
up.
Interpretation:
I'm
not surprised I had this type of dream again. I was pretty
wound up from work last week. I've been finding it pretty
stressful lately (3 of my Developers quitting, being in charge of
too many projects, etc). But once again, I have to realize
that I'm blowing my fears and anxieties out of proportion, and it'll
all be fine in waking life.
11.02.04 "Shoes"
There were many things going on in last night's
dream. But the only segment I remember clearly involved a
table full of shoes that I didn't recognize as my own right away.
I started looking at them, and I realized how cool they were.
For example, I was thinking to myself, "Hey, I don't remember buying
this cool pair of orange Camper mules but they're funky!"
Interpretation:
In
general, shoes represent your approach to life, and can symbolize
that you are well-grounded. The fact that I had all these
shoes that I didn't realize that I had (and loved them) signifies
that I'm uncovering aspects in my life (whether it's my own
personality traits, or loved ones, or whatever) and developing a
deeper appreciation for them.
10.28.04 "Violins"
The only segment of my dream that I really recall
involved me playing a violin. Someone gave it to me and I
started to play. My knowledge was a bit shaky, but it all
started coming back to me.
Interpretation: Seeing
a violin in a dream symbolizes peace and harmony, and playing one
foretells that one will be the recipient of lavish gifts.
That's all good. But I think once again, the object in my
dreams represents something from my past (I used to play violin as a
child). The fact that I was getting re-acquainted with it
symbolizes my comfort with my past and myself as a whole. That
seems to be the pattern, for the last couple of nights at least.
10.27.04 "Familiar Intruders"
I woke up at 5am this morning, but managed to
fall back asleep - and I had an extremely vivid dream. I
dreamt Robin had left for work, but I thought there might be someone
else in the house. When I investigated, I saw that our house
connected to the alleyway and there were some questionable
characters hanging out. However, there was also a business run
by an Asian family next door and they were ensuring that the street
people were not trespassing. When I went back in inside, I saw
a woman hiding behind the door. For whatever reason, I knew
who it was (someone I used to work with at Dynapro and haven't seen
for about 10 years). I called out her name. She was
slightly embarrassed (she said she was in my house because she was
nosy and wanted to see what I was up to) but I didn't care. We
had a great conversation and got caught-up.
Interpretation:
A
couple of things going on here. The street people segment must
relate to my experiences in the parkade (see my journal entry for
this date). The fact that I felt safe is relief that I've
decided never to park in the library parking lot again.
Now the familiar intruder portion:
I think that is saying that I'm becoming comfortable with my past,
and whatever skeletons I have in my closet are being confronted.
And it's a positive process that I'm willing to tackle head-on.
10.21.04 "Whale Watching and Cleaning House"
Last night's dream was pretty vivid. I
dreamt I was hanging out on a blanket with some people at the top of
a bluff overlooking some water, and I saw some whales. They
were orcas, and they were beautiful. I was amazed how clearly
I could see them from far above.
Then I dreamt I was at home in the kitchen (but it
looked very different) and I was cleaning out the fridge. In
the process, I broke a glass. I was startled at first, but
then I realized it was no big deal - I would just clean it up.
Interpretation: Let's
start with the whales - seeing them can represent being in tune with
spirituality. In the kitchen, broken glass can signify a
change, or that you've found and accomplished what you were
unconsciously seeking. Lastly, the act of cleaning can
symbolize removing negativity from life and overcoming major
obstacles.
So, how does this tie into my
waking world? I have felt quite at peace with myself these
days. Over the years I've had an ongoing struggle with my time
i.e. always being busy, often going out 6-7 nights a week, then
feeling overwhelmed as a result. Lately I've made the decision
to slow things down, and take more time for myself. I no
longer let myself feel pressured to constantly be out and meeting
people and doing things. And I've noticed the positive effects
almost immediately. It's great.
10.18.04 "Grandma"
Sometime during the weekend I had the most vivid
dream that left me feeling haunted in a good way. I dreamt my
grandmother was still alive, and I couldn't find her phone
number. When I finally located it (listed under 'Mom' in my
mother's phone book), I called her up and told her I was going to
take her to my company's Christmas party. Her apartment
building was as I remembered it. She was standing on the
stairwell, so tiny and sweet and polite. I vividly remember
approaching her and thinking in my dream, "I should do this
more often, while she's here." She was happy to see her
granddaughter, and I felt warm but a little sad because on some
level in the dream I knew she wasn't alive.
Interpretation:
Wow,
I got choked up just writing that. This dream is a reminder that
I should appreciate what is around me. Things will never stay
the same forever, and one must cherish what is in front of you today.
10.15.04 "My Man As a Woman"
Last night's nocturnal adventure was a bit of a doozy. I dreamt I was at a house party (more like a gathering)
and Robin was there. However, he was the only one in a
Halloween costume. And, he was dressed as a woman. I
remember looking at him and thinking, "Wow, he looks like a man
dressed as a woman, but he looks pretty good."
Interpretation:
Oy vey. Where to start. Apparently, costumes can symbolize
that the wearer's true self is not being shown. So, maybe that
could be linked to trust issues I'm having in my waking life about my
partner's honesty? But the fact that I 'saw through the costume'
so to speak would mean that these fears that my partner is not showing
his true self are not valid. Whatever. It was a whacky
dream, and I'll leave it at that.
10.14.04 "Swimming at the Mall"
I loved last night's dream. I dreamt I was
at a mall, or similar building with many long halls and
corridors. But it was filled with water and I was swimming
through these long, indoor channels. It was very peaceful and
I loved it.
Interpretation:
I've
had many dreams with clear water which can represent serenity and
peace of mind. The fact that I was swimming also suggests that
I've been exploring my unconscious thoughts and emotions. So,
the fact that I was enjoying swimming through the water suggests that
I'm in tune with my subconscious feelings and feel comfortable with
them. What a wonderful feeling when I woke up.
10.13.04 "Wrong Wedding"
I dreamt I was attending a wedding of an
ex-coworker. It was outdoors and pleasant out. Then
Paige and I were on some kind of scavenger hunt (as part of the
wedding) but we couldn't find what we were looking for. When I
got back to the reception, the person getting married was now a gay
friend, but he was marrying a woman. It was all wrong, and I
figured it was some kind of ploy to fool his family, and I went to
say something, to object - but then I woke up.
Interpretation:
Dreams
with weddings can symbolize new beginnings or anxiety and fear.
However, I think the context here is important. The wedding was
just a backdrop for my feeling that something was wrong. Perhaps
there is something in my waking life that I object to and have issues
with, but haven't brought to the foreground yet. Currently, I
have no idea what it is....
10.04.04 "Wrong Bus"
I dreamt I was at work and took a bus. Once
on it, I realized I had taken the wrong bus. However, it
wasn't a big deal because I could just switch at a later stop,
etc.
Interpretation:
Riding
a bus can signify that one is just going along with the crowd.
However, I think the context of this particular dream is important -
at first I was a bit panicky because I had taken the wrong connection
but it turned out to be ok, no big deal, totally reversible. I
think this dream is reflecting my waking life feelings of being in
control of situations and not worrying about small screw-ups because
the situation can always be rectified.
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